The Life of Maharana Pratap and His Lessons on Leadership

“Leaders have defined purposes, politicians have ambitions, leaders turn vision into reality, bosses turn Opportunity into prosperity, employers define success in their own growth while leaders define success in the growth of their people, their community and their nation.”

Maharana Pratap-The Greatest Warrior and a Legendary Leader

It’s very difficult to define a leader and what’s even more difficult and rare is to find a true leader today. A great leader cultivates a winning culture and incorporates the prerequisite skills in his behavior that defines him as a true leader and helps him win the trust of his people. Whenever leadership is discussed, the LIFE and lessons of Maharana Pratap spontaneously arouse on the way. The King of Mewar, a great warrior, legendary leader and an endearing emperor of his people Rana Pratap is renowned for his valour and sacrifices. Born on May 9, 1540, Pratap was the eldest son of Udai Singh II, founder of Udaipur, and the 54^th ruler of Mewar in the line of Sisodia Rajputs, in the state of Rajasthan, India. After the demise of his father, he ascended the throne and soon became the ‘Mighty Maharana’ for his people. His selfless love for the honor of his motherland and his indomitable courage for freedom and wellbeing of his people paved the way for him to become Maharana from Rana; and the way was full of thorns and hurdles.

Let’s see how the heroic qualities of Pratap make him different from all other leaders ever existed:  

A Rock’s Will Against the Mighty Opponent

Akbar, the greatest of Mughal emperors, had an ambitious dream, the dream of conquering Mewar, the DREAMof becoming the Jahanpanah of Hindustan, the dream of submission of Maharana Pratap, the strongest and most fearsome warrior India has ever seen, but Akbar died saying wistfully that his dream remained just a dream. The pages of History that were written with the blood of Mewar reveal that Pratap wasn’t just a name; it was an epitome of valour, determination and martyrdom. His undying love for his motherland, leadership skills and military prowess laid the foundation of his victory against a formidable army of Mughals and a sensitive human in him made him an invincible king of Mewar.

How to Prepare for Adversities

Great leaders are always aware of the Challenges and adversities and they invest a part of their time and energy to insure their people against catastrophe. They believe in rising above the turmoil and work out a strategy, they implement meticulously and emerge triumphant. Rana Pratap had all these qualities to fight back the sudden and repetitive attacks of Mughals. Renowned for his Guerilla warfare, Maharana’s prowess to fight battles left the Mughal soldiers flabbergasted and despite being double the size of Mewar military they could not capture him. After repetitive attacks he was running out of resources but he didn’t lose hope and ramped up his efforts towards a decisive victory to fulfill his commitment to his people. When Rana refused to surrender to Akbar, he was left isolated geographically and politically by other Rajput chiefs but he kept waiting for right moment to recover his lost territory and he succeeded the battle of Dewair.

Interesting Read: Women-Warriors-Demand-Gender-Neutrality

How to Fight with Minimal Resources

A leader knows his strengths and flaws very well and can distinguish between intelligible consumption and expenditure. Pratap was alienated from all Rajput kings and he knew he couldn’t expect any support from them. Despite his minimal resources the Mughal Army could never find him a sitting duck as Pratap had a well fortified intellect to thwart all the Mughal attacks. He was highly skilled in military strategies and guerilla warfare so the Mughals could never withstand him for a longer period. The thickly wooded foothills of Aravali had witnessed a massive bloodshed in the battle of Haldighati which began on 18 June, 1576 between Rana Pratap with a force of 3000 cavalry and 400 Bhil archers and the sizeable Mughal army comprising 10,000 soldiers, led by Man Singh of Amber. It was a fierce fight inflicting many casualties on Mewar army yet remained indecisive. Hoodwinking Man Singh and his soldiers Rana Pratap managed an escape with the help of his most faithful horse, Chetak who lost his life after being injured in his last Effort to save Rana and the battle proved a deadlock between Akbar and Rana Pratap.  

Wars, pandemic, terrorism, internal & external threats and other natural disasters assess the leaders of a country and it’s always the courage, intent and a perfect planning that work more efficiently and effectively than delusive promises and unorganized supplies and resources. Working on bigger goals with broader vision can safeguard many with minimal resources.

Winning the Trust of People

For a leader it’s very important to balance his deeds and diction. If any difference is witnessed, people start losing trust in him. A leader must have an expanded vision so that he can accommodate the wellbeing of his people and sustain their faith in him. The adage,’ action speaks louder than words’, was proven by Maharana Pratap; he was resolute and unswerving in his refusal to submit to Akbar and left all the luxuries and comforts of Royals for the sake of freedom of his people. He resolved not to live a royal life until he regained his kingdom from Mughals. His sacrifices had lasting impact on his people and Bhamashah, an affluent businessman turned up to Rana and donated all his wealth to meet out the military expenses and replenish the resources. It was such a huge fund that could maintain an army of 25000 soldiers for 12 years without any other sources. On just one call, his people were ready to abandon everything and willingly set to sacrifice their life for the sovereignty of Mewar.

Leaders Believe in Loyalty and Equality

For a great leader his loyalty towards his people becomes his sole religion and the only aim of life. It is said that Akbar had offered half of the Hindustan to Pratap in lieu of his submission to Mughal Empire but for Rana, the valour of his men and honour of the women of Mewar were his utmost priority and he guarded that till his last breath. He preserved the pride of his land and respected everyone irrespective of caste and creed. He treated the rich and the poor, the weak and the strong and the men and Women equally; he never discriminated on the basis of the categories in the society prevailing those days. His army comprised all the castes and he was always a source of inspiration for them.

A leader responds to his people’s needs and cries promptly and finds solutions to their problems to console them in their distress. The practices of Favoritism can destroy even the strongest system and this lesson of Maharana’s life is very important for today’s leaders to become a source of strength and comfort to their society at large.

Leaders have the Best Strategy and Planning to Combat

A leader turns into a role model for thousands and they like to emulate him. A leader’s conduct is a constant inspiration for his people. When thinking is clear and precise the actions yield perfect results and Pratap was the exemplary leader who had such qualities. The struggle he had undergone after the battle of Haldighati turned him into a great leader and warrior. Finally the Mewar army witnessed the dawn that they were waiting for long. 16 September, 1582, the day of the battle of Dewair on the occasion of Vijayadashmai when Rana Pratap conquered his territory and fulfilled his commitment to his people and his soil  but very few know about this victorious day in his life as this fierce battle is nowhere mentioned in our History books. We should read our History to Discard Distory that we have been taught in our schools. Rana Pratap finalized a valley situated between Udaipur and Ajmer as the battlefield and attacked the Mughal army. Rana killed the Mughal commander and won the battle. This battle resulted into one of  the biggest surrender in the known history of India where 36000 Mughal soldiers surrendered to Rana Pratap.  

Historian Satish Chandra states, "Rana Pratap's defiance of the Mughal Empire, almost alone and unaided by the other Rajput states, constitutes a glorious saga of Rajput valour and the spirit of self-sacrifice for cherished principles.

The LIFE of Maharana Pratap and his lessons on leadership give an inspiration to all those who see a leader in them. A very important point to be remembered here is a leader's life is never his own, his life belonged to his people, his team who support him, trust him and have their unwavering faith in him.

Father’s Love is Infinite as Sky & Unfathomable as Ocean

A couple of days ago I was reading a piece of news about an arduous act undertaken by an old father to meet his daughter who lived 90 km away from him. The emotional story touched me so deeply that it all appeared as a Bollywood movie flashback drawing me towards the castle of memories of my childhood with my father. My heart was filled with immense love, respect and adoration for these heroes who are called fathers. They are living legends who are always ready to tunnel through any hazards to soothe their children during the difficult phases of their life. The story is of a desperate father from the state of Madhya Pradesh, India, who wanted to see his pregnant daughter but due to the corona curfew, he could not avail any bus to travel 90 km to Karsarpura from Sendhwa, his hometown. The 75-year-old father decided to walk and started his journey on May 18 and covered 70km distance on foot by the evening before he met a constable in Kharagone who offered him food and then dropped him at his daughter’s house on his two-wheeler. The elderly man proved it that a father’s love is visible in many shades and he can go to any extent for the well-being of his children.  A father’s love is eternal, beyond the richest treasures of the world, and the strongest shield around children.

Most of us, especially Gen X and Millennials have seen our fathers, compromising their comforts and limiting their expenses to save every single penny to give a good life to their children. Certainly harsh reprimands and angry looks on academic reports and study hours were essentials of daily diet and children had grown immune to that. Occasional slaps, thrashing and kicks (please allow me to be a little gender biased here: only boys needed this) were the effective measures during counseling sessions of more notorious siblings and believe me children never suffered depression or mental anxiety. The most possible reasons might be either children were so adept at handling pressure of humiliation or they didn’t know what it was. Without any formal trainings or degrees those days’ fathers were the best Clinical Psychologists. Fathers were on scooters, sometimes on bicycles but always an ideally contented and the most protective figure of the family structures. They were neither jovial nor ambitious, their ambition was only to get their children educated at their best and placed at good positions. They never had a shopping-list; I must say they just hated it. A wardrobe with hardly half a dozen pairs of stitched shirt-pants, one safari suit and a pair of leather shoes were considered their signature collection and a possession, good enough to maintain their enviable life style. Fathers were truly not as cool looking guys as today’s fathers are, they actually looked as if born as fathers; true gentlemen of good old days, with sincere and stern looks so that no child can put any undue demand (children were so intelligent that they knew which request will be granted and when it should be put forth), less talkative as it was customary; the tradition of being friendly with children didn’t exist those days and Sunday outing was not a social norm in most of the families. 

With this quintessential fatherly attitude, one thing was definitely cool about them and that is they are the most amazing, generous and caring fathers of all generations. They never pampered but loved unconditionally, they never expressed their expectations but left no stone unturned in fulfilling their children’s demands(only genuine), they were least enthusiastic to spend family time but never forgot to caress children’s forehead if they had a bad day or weren’t physically well. Their love had something very peculiar in it; as they never seemed to be loving but failed to hide their tears if children were going out to stay in hostels for higher studies. So strange it was! No?

Interesting Read on Parenting: As Parent You Preach or Perform?

Father is an ocean of love and a sky of infinite blessings.

It’s beautifully quoted, “A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remain as a pillar of strength throughout our lives.” We often think of the love, care, and attention of mother but fathers always take a back seat when it comes to sing and celebrate love of Parents. Generally father’s tenderness, patience, caring and nurturing their young ones is shadowed by the sacrifices of motherhood and deters the male from being accepted as intensely loving and primary caregiver for their children. But a father’s heart knows it very well that his love for his children helps them feel more secure physically, emotionally, mentally and intellectually. A father is always the first influencer and a role model for children and his contribution to the lives of his kids is no less than their mother. A father introduces a wider variety of approaches of dealing life; they encourage risk-taking and problem-solving capabilities in children which result in a Strong Emotional Immunity in them.

The mother brings life and love; the father brings strength and vigor to the young ones and that makes the best combination of the art of parenting, a father’s love is irreplaceable, unfathomable, and unique in its own way because only father’s love doesn’t expect anything in return from his children. He remains always on the giver’s side without letting anyone know what struggles he is going through. This altruistic quality and strength is bestowed only upon them by God. And that makes me say that they are truly the living Gods for their children, their persistence and sweat bring the fragrance of success and prosperity in children’s life. Father Teaches righteousness and discipline that turns a tender heart into a strong fighter, he brings out the rebel in us who can stand for right and oppose wrong. I am proud to say that my father is my Super Hero; if any small good I have done to my life to make it worth living that’s because of my father and I am sure you must be feeling the same.

Strong Emotional Immunity Can Guard Against Any Illness

Life presents us a gamut of emotions through happiness, experiences, memories, lessons and achievements. We flow with the flow of all such events but the problem arises when unknown emotions and feelings engulf us and we fall prey to such situations as we don’t know how to deal with them. Today when we look around, we find all these situations haunting and daunting us and we experience that illness never comes alone; it always creeps into life with fear: fear of death, fear of financial loss and fear of losing emotional stability. There are so many moments and emotions which we never want to accept despite knowing that these are inevitable to happen and many a time beyond our control, for example; casualty in family, losing job, failures at personal and professional level, divorce and accidents. Though we hear such news for others on daily basis but we think that it would never happen with us and suddenly when an unpleasant situation occurs, we fail to confront it and become a victim of our emotions and reactions to such painful situations.

Let’s start with a very common example of getting irritated when stuck in a traffic jam or informed about absence of house help for the day. We get angry and lose our calm on such petty issues despite knowing that these things are of least importance and relevance in our life at a broader level then why can’t we become panic while struggling with an unprecedented pandemic in our life; let’s start accepting that it’s perfectly okay if we feel stressed, it’s perfectly fine if we are scared and it’s perfectly normal to feel depressed; these all are human emotions and we can’t escape them. The only way we can help is to understand that pandemic is an external factor and whatever is going in me is an internal one. None can control and wipe out all the outside disturbances but each one can channelize the internal factors that weaken the emotional immunity and make a person vulnerable to other ailments.

Emotional immunity is a wider term pertaining to human’s ability to respond to their emotions in a sensible way. It’s very difficult to manage the flow of emotions and react in a composed manner as most of the time human behaviour is controlled by impulsive reactions to certain emotions. A good emotional health determines a person’s controlled and optimistic behaviour in difficult and unexpected situations so looking at the current scenario it’s imperative to maintain physical as well as emotional health.

How to Boost Emotional Immunity  

Strong emotional immunity can guard against any illness and only an emotionally healthy person can help others to boost their emotional immunity. Let’s read how we can make a difference.

Maintaining a Healthy Routine:

The first thing you do in the morning determines your whole day so start your day with a positive ‘me time’ for yourself, stay away from distractions like mobile phone, TV or internet. Dedicate your morning hour to exercise, yoga, pranayam and meditation so that whole day you feel happy and energetic. Food and breathing habits play a pivotal role in maintaining emotional and physical health. To keep mind, body and soul in a perfect alignment the intake must be taken care of. The way we breathe and we eat impacts the functioning of our body. So, focus on both. Avoid eating junk food and refined carbs and increase consumption of nutrient rich foods. A healthy and enriching lifestyle will help you rediscover your own self and boost your emotional immunity. Spending time with nature will be cherry on the cake so manage your time to admire the beauty of sunrise and feel the vibrations of life and positivity around plants and blossoming flowers. 

Interesting Read on Parenting: As a Parent You Preach or Perform

Parents can Help Boost Children’s Emotional Immunity:

There is a beautiful story of the famous scientist, Thomas Alva Edison who is known for his invention of electric light bulb and more than 1000 patents in his name. When Thomas was a primary school student he was given an envelope for his mother by his teacher. When Thomas handed over the envelope to his mother she opened and found a letter inside. While reading the letter, tears started gushing from her eyes and she told Thomas that he was a genius and none of the teachers in the school was capable of teaching such a bright student so he would not attend the school any more. She told that she was crying out of happiness and she would take the responsibility of teaching his son. Hearing this Thomas was so excited that he started learning faster under his mother’s supervision who herself was a teacher. Years passed and Thomas became a great scientist. One day while searching for some papers in an old cupboard he found the same envelope which was given by his teacher, with great curiosity he opened and started reading the letter. The letter said,” Your child is mentally weak and can’t be taught with other students in the class. Kindly don’t send your ward to school.”

The story reveals how parents play a vital role in boosting children’s emotional immunity. Had the mother told Thomas about the letter would he have been one of the greatest scientists ever? Certainly not, so parents should always act like a Strong Support System to nurture and care the emotional health of their children.

Importance of Good Friends:

American writer and motivational speaker Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” None can doubt on the fact that your friends shape your personality, teach you life skills and help you succeed the battles of life. Good friends always give a better opinion and encourage decision making that helps you win your self-doubts and insecurities. Sometimes they make fun of you by their sarcastic remarks which is an important factor in boosting your emotional immunity. Their sunny talks are effective enough to help you deal with any failure or loss. The best part of healthy friendships is both the sides get benefited in a mutual and symbiotic relationship so never leave your friend alone when he/she is in need.

A sudden surge in number of suicides has been observed during the second wave of the pandemic. These suicides were the result of emotional shock after losing the loved ones and in most of the cases the victims themselves were either battling with the disease or undergoing post covid recovery. Most of the Illnesses are stress-induced as they disturb the mind-body-soul alignment and leave debilitating effects on the patient. But an improved emotional immunity will help us believing that we are not helpless creatures destined to suffer from vagaries so to surrender to the wrath of an invisible, vicious virus. During such harrowing situations let’s work together to build strong emotional immunity to help ourselves and others. Try to counsel if you see any such person in your vicinity and boost his emotional immunity so as to get him ready to fight the challenges. If you can save and strengthen a life that will be the biggest gratitude you ever pay to the universe.

Helping The Helpless - A Way To Fulfill The Duty To Divine

The opening lines of the first section ‘The Burial of the Dead’ of The Waste Land; says ‘April is the cruellest month’. T S Eliot, the poet has given voice to the collapse of civilization and portrayed the devastated world after the First World War. After almost 100 years the line has proven true once again with the apocalyptic April which has traumatized everyone by the devastating superspreader coronavirus. New strategies and medical research to fight against the pandemic were on the anvil when the second wave attacked us more fiercely and left us all shattered.  Patients waiting for medical support, kin standing in queues for oxygen cylinders, medicines and beds and black marketing of life saver injections and fraud are giving the gruesome picture of India’s shambolic response to the second wave of the global pandemic.

Helping The Helpless Is The Supreme Duty To Divine

While people are making advantages of this catastrophe the era witnesses thousands who have turned up as angels in such times of distress and agony, helping the needy and the deprived ones. Young volunteers, social media groups and many societies are helping hundreds of Covid patients getting beds and medicines. One of the heroes who has touched many hearts is an auto-rickshaw driver, Javed Khan from Bhopal. Javed has sold his wife’s jewellery to get his auto improvised as an ambulance to ferry the Covid patients and set an example that you need not be wealthy to help others; you just have to have good intentions and altruistic attitude.

Interesting Read:  Kindness Turns A Person Into A Human

Helping arouses hope and hope makes the sufferings and difficulties bearable. If we hope that tomorrow will be better, we can easily bear a hardship today. When we get involved in acts of benevolence and become generous to others, it takes our mind off despondency and gives us the much needed impetus to cope with feelings of anxiety, fear and negativity.

Joy of Giving is Greater than Joy of Receiving:

Everyone is going through an emotional mayhem these days and it feels there’s no respite. We try to keep us happy and positive thinkers yet failing to do so because the suffering around us is restraining us; which is a clear sign of being human, yes, we cannot detach ourselves from others’ pain and agonizing circumstances because we all are humans and we get affected to see people losing their loved ones. And the best solution to keep calm and contented is to lend a helping hand; to reach out to someone who is in dire need and you can fulfill that. Joy of giving is always greater than joy of receiving because it purifies our mind, gifts us a sense of contentment and makes us realize our worth as a humane. We see so many organizations working relentlessly to save lives, if you feel you can add one hand, espouse the larger cause and cultivate the sense of self-sufficiency.

Charity Begins at Home:

As explained by Mother Teresa, one of the greatest humanitarians of the 20^th century, “Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.” So don’t think how many people you can reach but find the person around you who is in need, or deprived. Helping humans is our duty to divine and that’s the only way to connect to the almighty in true sense. If we can help the destitute, we can bring peace to our life as it leads to greater happiness, less stress, better pain management and good health. Helping the people around connects us with the community and volunteering time and energy for the depressing helps us reduce loneliness and ISOLATION

Helping others fulfills the purpose of life:

Extending a helping hand to someone enhances an individual’s sense of fulfillment as it makes you feel rewarded and blissful. Only an enriched and empowered (not in terms of wealth) person can give, can support and can empower others; a poor or empty mind (even if having riches of the world) can never fill anyone’s heart as dark cannot remove the darkness; it’s always the light that illuminates and brightens everything. So be the light of someone’s life, be the strength of a weaker individual and be the hope of gloomy eyes and that will certainly fulfill the purpose of your life and give glory to your identity without any external validation.

“We have no choice about how we enter the world but we can decide upon a thousand about our exit and these choices create opportunities to fill the emptiness of life and suggest ways to make it blissful.”

So dear Readers always have an empowered faith in yourself that you can help others, you can bring positivity and happiness to others and you can become a perfect reason of a smile on a sad face. Imagine the gratification you receive which is beyond any reward and think of the contentment you cherish forever after seeing people overwhelmed while pouring their countless blessings for what you have done to them.

Welcoming The Reforms to Embrace the Future of Education

 An Enriching Article on Reforms in Education System

Amid the Covid resurgence and the looming uncertainties of life and livelihoods, the Centre has decided to cancel class X CBSE Exams and postpone class XII examination casting a shadow on the myriad dreams of joining desired universities and the future plans of higher education. Despite being incredibly resilient throughout the year of despondence now the aspiring High School students are fed up when forced to be driven by the juggernaut of the global pandemic and systemic failure. Thousands of students are swinging between academic anxieties and the financial pressure of their families with the education system swamped completely for not having planned assessments and evaluation well in time. We could not develop our ‘Plan B’ with an innovative approach  to avoid such ramifications.

Examinations for class XII is a practical necessity as admissions to universities and higher education courses are aligned with the entrance examinations for the professional courses. However, the students are kept on tenterhooks as the pandemic has inveigled itself into the education spectrum and this has to be realized that we were not planned with an alternate mode of Virtual Assessment in order to bear the brunt of the second wave of Covid-19. We cannot deny the fact that we have to embrace the future of education by introducing technology to the process of assessments and evaluation also.

Last year when I was studying Postgraduate Certificate in Teaching of English from the English and Foreign Languages University, Hyderabad; our examinations were scheduled in the month of June-July but due to the coronavirus outbreak, in-person Examination-cum-Contact Program was cancelled but the university came up with Online Contact-cum-Examination Program. It was planned so effectively that none of the candidates lost their precious year and completed the course in the expected duration. Needless to say, meticulous planning and rigorous efforts were put in by all the professors at EFLU and they were incredible. All the question papers comprised analytical and application based questions so no chances of fraudulent activities or use of internet for writing the answers. In addition with, to ensure, no student is at disadvantage due to the pandemic, the University confirmed that if the participants were unable to attend the online examination they would be given another opportunity as and when feasible.

If CBSE could have planned an online assessment for class XII students, they would have been at ease and could prepare for other entrance examinations. As we all are aware many institutions and universities have already been in process of adopting digital exams with great success, it’s high time to opt for these strategies. With the virtual &hybrid model of education it is considered that in-person examinations are highly expensive and ineffective as the excessive manual data entry can be subjected to human error. The other benefits of online exam can be a substantial reduction in the paper used and time required to conduct and mark the exam. Many universities across the globe are conducting online exams such as the University of Bergen, the University of Agder and the University of Oslo where 75% of all exams are now conducted digitally. In the month of March, Imperial College London had successfully conducted the assessment of the sixth-year medicine undergraduates via two online exams.

 Interesting Read:  Where-Theres-Will-Theres-Way

The Much Needed Reforms In Education System

As we all know that Byju’s has purchased Aakash Educational Services for $1billion. The recent deal between Aakash and the edtech biggie Byju’s is a clear example of the emerging reforms in education sector of India which will help us witness the new hybrid model of education spreading in coaching centers also in our country.  There is no doubt that the future of education will be the hybrid model where the students will go to the centers only once or twice in a week to clear their doubts and rest of the days they will be studying at home through the online classes which will be saving their time and energy in commuting. As the institution was already working on online education model for past six-seven years, it took no time to transition all physical classrooms to virtual learning at the very moment lockdown was announced. Let's not forget that switching to online teaching for thousands of teachers is also one of the most important Teachings of 2020.

Hybrid Model of Education

Hybrid or blended learning is a method of teaching learning that combines both, physical classroom teaching with online activities to foster the individual and customized learning. With the hybrid model, Educational Institutions can easily set up the new exam pattern through online assessment platforms. There is a plethora of options available with the features of auto evaluation and rapid result generation. We know that various technological advancements have radically changed the teaching-learning environment today and the pandemic has given a momentum to this reform and hastened the use of technology in education; the changes we were expecting in coming ten years have now become an integral part of our day-to-day life.

Let’s welcome a new era of education that opens up new vistas of learning and dreaming. It will be available to a larger section of population by breaking the boundaries of geographic locations and time constraints. Students and professionals will be able to continue their study courses with their job commitments and other responsibilities.

 I always had a dream to study Child Psychology from one of the renowned universities of the US and now it seems that my dreams will soon get a flight!

Real Friends Are Strong Support System For A Happy Life

Friends Galore Yet Friendless: An Irony of Today’s Technology Mediated World

Watch my video for more insight: https://youtu.be/Real Friends

During one normal conversation, I randomly asked a friend of mine about the number of friends she has. The reply was ‘many’. I asked her to tell me the names of a few best friends, whom she can call in her distress, seek help from or confide them. She thought hard for some time and could hardly give me a single name. This is the irony of today’s world where people have an infinite list of friends on broad, shallow social media platforms like “Facebook”, “Twitter” and “Instagram” liking and commenting every post and photo they share but when they sit to count their real friends they hardly get one or two on the list or not even one.

Real Friends v/s Social Media Friends

We often boast upon the long list of friends on whom a good amount of time and emotions is squandered through the social networks but have we ever thought how healthy they are and out of them how many can we count on when we are in need? How many of them will lend their hands when you ask for? The quote, “I have everyone even though I am alone because everyone is not my only one” seems to hold a deeper truth in today’s technology mediated world which has brought people closer, yet metaphorically speaking, miles apart from each other’s heart.

This brings me to ask a question here, “Is the society becoming lonelier?”, “Are people walking alone despite surrounded by a crowd of people?”, “Has true friendship become a far cry today?” I think most of you will answer in “yes” as today a friendship hardly lasts forever. The harsh reality is that it has become more temporal and ephemeral. Sometimes even the person who you count on when you go through tough time shocks you by showing indifference towards you.

True friendship refers to the friends whom you can count on when you go through a tough time and share your pains, your secrets with them. But it seems we have lost trust in this relationship. We hesitate to open up even before the person whom we call a friend as we doubt that he/she might not keep our secrets and might breach our trust. Some people say that nowadays an enemy is more trustworthy than a friend as at least you know how far he/she can cause damage to you, but you never know how and when a friend is going to sabotage you.  Many people today suffer from this trauma that they have nobody to share their feelings with. We are surrounded by family members but these relations also many a times come with the strings attached. 

Why is it that we are not able to make true friends today? Simply throwing stones at the social media platforms would be wrong. We need to spend less energy on online interactions so as to save energy for in-person interactions. According to Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist and psychologist at the University of Oxford, Facebook has been successful in many ways because it enables us to keep track of people who otherwise would disappear. It brings people closer, makes them extend helping hand and gets friends reunited who have drifted apart during the course of time. However, he believes that no matter Facebook has been successful yet it cannot undermine the fact that face to face interactions can only result in strong friendship because it involves shared experiences.  Dunbar also stresses on the importance of touch in developing strong bonding and friendship. He believes, “Words are easy. But the way someone touches you, even casually, tells you more about what they’re thinking of you.”

Other than the virtual connections and relationships, upbringing of children in today’s competitive world also has a role to play here. From the very beginning, parents teach one-upmanship to their children. They teach them to be one step ahead of their friends in all respects. It’s hard for the parents to digest the friends having an edge over their own children. When a child helps his friend, parents often ask him if his friend has ever helped him in any way. Are we not giving our children the values of seeking our own benefit in friendship?  Such values bereave the children from the true friendship from the very beginning. In fact, there shouldn’t be any competition in true friendship. One must see a friend’s success as one's own success and have camaraderie to celebrate every moment of life together. In a true sense, friendship should function as a strong support system for both the partners and a good art of parenting can instill selfless friendship in children.

Thought Provoking Read: Lets-Simplify-Life

One must not confuse between friends and acquaintances and between true friends and sycophants.  A real friend will always have the grit to say wrong is wrong even when everyone is for it and right is right when others are against it.

There are No calculations in Friendship

A true and real friendship demands unconditional love, care, sacrifice and time. It is a two way street. It demands a lot of patience, understanding and sacrifices from our side too. We may have times when even a true friend will disappoint us yet we need to give a benefit of doubt to retain this precious relationship.  

Our values play a great role in friendship. A true friendship knows no calculations. A single true friend in your life weighs more in the balance compared to thousand people on the other side.  A true friend is the gem of all gems.

Oprah Winfrey has rightly said:

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, But what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

Small Efforts Are Important To Bring Big Changes In Life

 The Effort is Important: No Matter Big or Small

Watch my video on this topic: https://youtu.be/_2uuT4kj2VU

When Ravana abducted Sita and held her captive in Ashok Vatika, a beautiful garden in his royal palace, Lord Rama decided to attack Lanka and release Sita from his prison. The enthusiasm and determination was high, but there was a huge ocean which had to be crossed by the army of Sugreeve which comprised all monkeys. The despicable demon was obstructing the entire army’s path and how to win over it was a difficult challenge for all. Finally a floating bridge was planned to be constructed with the help of Nal and Neel, who were cursed by a sage that nothing would drown in water if thrown by them. This curse turned into a boon when it came to build a bridge to conquer Lanka and reinforced the attempts being made to release Sita. All the animals started helping and brought stones and pieces of rocks and ramped up the construction of the bridge across the ocean. Lord Rama felt grateful and indebted to observe the Love and dedication of his entire army and suddenly he noticed that a tiny squirrel was working relentlessly to contribute in collecting stones and pebbles for the bridge. It was picking small pebbles in its mouth and arranging them near the boulders. Looking at the squirrel, a few animals started ridicule her by saying that her efforts were not required as it’s a big task and her enthusiasm and hard work could not make any difference so she should keep away or she would get crumpled to death. The squirrel started crying and then Rama intervened to show everyone how two boulders were connected by the pebbles put by the little squirrel; he further explained that no effort is big or small what matters the most is the intent and devotion. Lord Rama lovingly stroked the squirrel’s back to appreciate and acknowledge her work. The gentle stroke was imprinted on the back and marked three stripes and it is believed that since then the squirrels have stripes on their bodies as an embodiment of gratitude and affection from the divine itself.

We all can have such imprints of accomplishments, affection, and contentment if we develop a strong conviction in making the smallest efforts which eventually pave a bigger path to surmount the Obstacles and challenges in our lives.

Learn to Face Your Fears- 

Human life is a continuum of learning new things, accepting challenges and reinvigorating ourselves with the ability to tide over the obstacles and to sail smoothly in this voyage one has to learn how to face fears. Making small efforts to overcome fear can be an important emotional skill which helps you achieve bigger goals in life. Start avoiding doubts in your thought process because doubts give birth to fear. Having doubts about how something is going to happen opens the doors to unknown fears and that make us weak and vulnerable. Start practicing fearlessness by believing in yourself and empowering your soul through meditation and pranayam. Instill courage in yourself and stand up to face your fears; welcome crisis and adversities as platform to stir you from within and leapfrog over your weaknesses.

Develop Strong Interpersonal Skills- 

Good interpersonal skills play a pivotal role in attaining success and enriching life and one can strike a perfect and harmonious balance both at work and home environment. Let’s understand how our small efforts can bring a big change in our life; having the dream of gaining expertise overnight will only lead you to sorrow and pessimism so start practicing with small steps. Work on your listening skills first because if you absorb the ideas completely you will be able to deliver and respond in more fulfilled way. Take a small step ahead everyday to improve your interactive skills when you are well versed with your listening abilities. Try to talk to yourself for 10 minutes on the topics which you want to discuss with others and see the improvement in your communication skills. Gradually you will develop negotiation, persuasion and influencing skills which are indispensable for decision making and team-building.

Try Never to Stress- 

When we look around; everything seems to be so chaotic, disturbing and spinning out of control. Our personal and professional commitments keep us entangled in the ongoing turmoil and we often fall prey to stress, anxiety and depression. Medical research has proven that our immunity drops when we undergo mental stress, emotional pain or depression so it’s imperative to remain impervious to criticism, work pressure and setbacks in our life. Most of the times things that seem earth shattering seem miniscule and irrelevant in future so stop wasting your time and positivity on fleeting or ephemeral issues or events. Pressure and problems are inevitable but active management can save you from such stressful situations and make you resilient. Adapt good work and time management slowly and gradually to help you cope with stress.

Distance Yourself from Negativity- 

We all know the importance of positive vibes in our life then to we can’t escape negativity as humans are designed to harbour negativity more than positive attitude and enrichment. We must help ourselves by staying away from the arguments, sarcastic opinions and useless gossips that fill us with negativity. We shouldn’t waste our time in responding to petty issues and minor problems. Though ‘old habits die hard’ but if we want to bring a positive change in our attitude and way of life we have to make these small efforts to reinvent our personality. One of the ways to stay away from negativity is to ‘let it go’ and avoid indulging ourselves in the group of such people who are more inclined to talk negative things and judge others.

Enriching Read: Let's Simplify Life

 Your Dignity is Important- 

Our most important duty towards our existence is to love and respect our being. Start believing in the choices that you have made for yourself and count your self-worth. Have you ever given in just to please someone or drag a relationship that doesn’t respect you? If so; try to come out of it and accommodate yourself in your happy and healthy lifestyle. Each one of us has to draw a line so that the people around us cannot take us for granted and erode our very core. Keep your self esteem and dignity intact in both- personal or professional relationships and be true to yourself. These practices will certainly help you enjoy a life of respect and adoration from your near and dear ones.

Cultivate Reading as a Passion- 

Reading is always resourceful and when you are rich in resources you have less chances of getting hurt or humiliated. Start with a small resolution of reading 15 minutes daily, either a book or an article. Trust me it will Change your perspectives on various important things in life and build your intellect to become the controller of your thoughts, your happiness, your impulses and your emotions. Reading is pretty similar to yoga; both are difficult to practice, both don’t bring any change overnight but both can make you the happiest person if imbibed and practiced undeterred, uninterrupted.

It takes a drop to turn into an ocean, it takes the first small stride to reach a far-off destination and it takes a step up to climb the ladder of success. It’s truly said, “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” So start your day with a small effort to make yourself happier than ever and a step closer to the purpose of your life; commit yourself to be just 0.5% better tomorrow than what you are today and feel the difference.

“Greatness can be achieved through small efforts made consistently and diligently.”

Kindness Is Not Just Giving But Empowering Living Beings

 Kindness Turns A Person Into A Human

Kindness is an attribute, a quality that can be inherited, acquired, and cultivated but can neither be taught nor forcefully inculcated in anyone. In this world of brutal crimes, selfish mindsets, and rampaging threats can we believe that just an iota of kindness is enough to make a big difference in many lives? Well, I know you must be thinking that at such difficult times, we can only expect others to be kind and generous towards us. How can I be kind to others when I have my own boat struggling desperately to survive and manage to sail from nowhere to nowhere?  But believe me it’s really magical. It’s magical to experience the divine through the acts of kindness; it’s blissful to see the positive changes and transformations in our fellow beings by our compassionate attitude towards them and it proves that we all have greatness within; we just need to unveil it, uncover it and embrace it in our day-to-day activities and approach.

During the ongoing Mahakumbh, 183 beggars were rounded up by Haridwar police in the past three months. While interrogating them the police came to know that many of them had lost their jobs due to the pandemic and were abandoned on streets with no source of survival. After a few sessions of counseling, 30 beggars agreed to work and  make a living for themselves. The Haridwar police came up with an idea and made arrangements for their training by a five-star hotel chef. As of now sixteen beggars have turned into new chefs and employed as cooks across police stations of Haridwar at a salary of Rs. 10,000-12,000. This inspiring and innovative step taken by the police set an example of empowering and transforming the deprived and underprivileged lives into meaningful existence through the act of kindness and compassion and proved the words of Amelia Earhert that read as, “A single act of kindness throws out roots in directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

Interesting Reading : When Anguish Is Anticipated From All

As stated earlier, each one of us has the ability to cultivate kindness in our inner core but most of the times we overlook it in pursuit of attaining our materialistic or lofty goals and miss those thousands of opportunities to express kindness to the living beings around us.

How to Practice and Express Kindness

Amidst our bustling lives, the ongoing Pandemic and the previous annus horribilis, we tend to lose sight of those hands and hearts stretching out, seeking for Help, expecting our sympathy and compassion towards them; not always in materialistic terms; may be just our time, our attention or our words of care and affection to them. If we can be kind and generous towards them; that will also be an act of kindness and you never know just a few words of love can transform a life. We see people crying, we hear the stories of heinous crimes on daily basis; we witness the atrocities and injustices around the world and we know that these phenomena are beyond our control and we can’t stop them but a constant and conscious effort by each one can bring a bigger change to the society and eventually to the world. Kindness is contagious  and we always acknowledge (through the subconscious if not by the conscious) even a small amount of it when done to us and try to pass it forward when given an opportunity to do so. When we start doing the good at personal level and being kind to ourselves we take a step towards making this world a better place to live. Even our minimal kindness towards family members, friends, neighbours, colleagues or domestic help can add pearls of happiness and bliss to not just their lives but to ours also and enhances the peace of mind and restores our emotional equilibrium.

»       Meditation- Meditation is the best way to imbibe kindness so practise this affirmation every morning: I am kind to all and everyone is kind to me; The Almighty is the kindest to me. You will experience positive changes in your attitude and feel the warmth and affection of others as well as stronger relationships and contentment in your life.

»       Conversations and Connections- Feeling connected to our near and dear ones always instill a sense of care and compassion towards them and meaningful conversations play a vital role in strengthening these connections. An increased and strong connectivity develops clarity of thinking and galvanizes our senses to reconcile the old and lost relationships. So try to ramp up such positive conversations and feel connected to your people.

»       Acceptance for All- Being respectful to all and letting them have their rights to express their feelings and opinions make you kinder and more compassionate towards all life forms. When we accept others with their qualities and flaws we propitiate their conservative and indifferent core and spread love and generosity. On the contrary if we force people to change their behaviour and expect vociferously and we become cruel and emotionless which in turn invite the same aura for ourselves.

Being Kind Means Making a Stronger and Empowered Society - The noble act by the Haridwar police that empowered the beggars by giving them employment is an indication that kindness doesn’t mean just to fulfill the needs of the needy or facilitate the deprived ones; it also means to empower and strengthen them so that they can fight to ameliorate their living and become an equal part of the society. Kindness makes a person more humane and gifts an enriching and spiritually uplifted heart and soul to one’s existence. Let’s cultivate kindness and compassion as the essential attributes to our personality so that the mankind can fight against the adversities and shambolic disasters on it. We are kind when we cooperate and coordinate with others, we are kind when we lend our ears to someone who needs our attention; we are kind when we value others’ inputs in small tasks and we are the best when we practice and express kindness to all.

“Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

-Barbara De Angelis

So Be Kind, Not for Others; For Yourself

I hope you find this article interesting, enriching, and thought-provoking.