Obstacle Can Never Be A Barrier Until You Make it One

Obstacles Are Not Barriers in Your Life

An obstacle can never be a barrier until you make it one, and the struggles, efforts and achievements in the life story of Bhavya Jain proved the same.

Bhavya Jain, 36,  son of an advocate, was a bright student throughout his school years and wanted to become a Judge. To fulfill his ambitions he chose to pursue law. He was self motivated and determined in his pursuit but suddenly things start falling apart when he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mental health condition causing mood swings. He was only 25 then, and his life took an unexpected turn which was extremely agonizing for him and his family. Today, talking about mental health is not a taboo but during those days, in the year 2010 it wasn’t as easy as it seems today. Bhavya’s battle with his mental health and the pressure of his dreams left him swinging between hope and despair. He decided not to quit, not to surrender to the obstacles and passed his LLM as one among the toppers. He continued his hard work and efforts to finally clear the Delhi Judicial Service Examination after eight years, in the category of persons with disabilities. Yet, the challenges weren’t at cessation, he was declared unfit to discharge his duties by the high court administration. And it took him three more grueling years to fight and win the legal battle when the Supreme Court allowed him to join his service.

This inspiring and heart touching story of Bhavya Jain narrates more than what it comprises. The terrible years that he passed while grappling with his health issues and his aspirations weren't easy and none of us can imagine what he must have gone through in accomplishing what he had yearned for. But ultimately when he won everything, it was clear that obstacles can have a fleeting impact but aren't insurmountable. They teach you that there’s nothing wrong in feeling low when you are passing through hard times and feel incapacitated to see so many obstacles blocking your way. We may encounter health issues, financial and relationship problems, but most often these obstacles arise from our mind and during such difficult times, all we need is a shift in our thinking; the thinking that reinvigorates our strength and efforts to prove that obstacle can never be a barrier until you make it one.

 

Obstacles Are Opportunities in Disguise

An obstacle is always an opportunity in disguise, if you grab and succeed it’s an achievement if you fail it turns out to be a learning lesson. So both the ways obstacles play a very important role in our life, the fear of failure ensures only one thing and that is failure itself, so keep moving forward despite the challenges and obstructions on your way. Develop a conviction that whatever you dream, is achievable and learn to think about what you can do instead of what you cannot. Neither we can control the obstacles nor the circumstances; we can only control our attitude towards them. If you treat obstacles as opportunities to prove your potential, you will emerge as a winner so have an unshakable faith in your hard work and efforts.

Maintain Your Emotional Equilibrium

Obstacles harm our emotional health and expose our weaker and vulnerable side to the world. Our actions and decisions both get badly affected causing a smaller hurdle turn into a bigger one and we end up in misery. It’s very important to maintain your equipoise because a strong Emotional Immunity provides you the best and creative solution to all your problems. Lack of morale and composure can overpower determination and one may gravitate to one’s own fall. Be resilient to face these hurdles and make yourself a warrior, not a worrier because your worries will not change your destiny but the warrior in you can certainly do it.

Audit Your Capabilities

Knowing yourself is very important to overcome any challenge and tunnel through the obstacles. Your self-assessment can be of great help when you deal with hardships in life. Talk to yourself and analyze your strengths, weaknesses and areas for development, it will prepare you to battle hard and attain facile victory even in the worst situations. When you don’t audit your capabilities and make resolutions they peter out soon because you don’t have good propensity to come out of your Comfort Zone and breaking your own boundaries so if you wish to be prepared for challenges, audit yourself and know your abilities.

Stop Complaining Start Appreciating

Learning the art of appreciating every small thing in life empowers us to not get influenced by the vagaries of mind and emotion during hard times and galvanizes our senses to face the wrath of obstacles in our day to day life. Appreciating the good around you and being grateful to the little things in your life channelize your attention to what nurtures and sustains you in life, it makes you understand one thing very clearly no good or bad can be controlled by you but you distinguish that good is to be appreciated while the obstacles need to be dealt with an iron fist. It instills a positive mindset that eventually bolsters your morale and refrain you from having a jaundiced view of life which usually happens when frequently confronted with obstacles and hardships in life.

Smaller or bigger, obstacles are the inevitable reality of everyone’s life; we all have them, face them and rise above them. These unparalleled challenges do not determine our life; our own interpretation about them, does. You cannot always get what you like so learn to like whatever you get. The obstacles are the best teachers in your life, they teach you your real worth and train you to endure and handle your life with Perfection while passing through the fire of tough times. Obstacles fall your way to enrich your life with experiences and achievements; remember the words of Helen Keller, “Life is either a great adventure or nothing”, Helen who, despite being blind and deaf, wrote her life story with golden words while fighting and conquering the infinite challenges on her way. 

You can only hold your Happiness and persevere, you can’t change the circumstances, you need to wade through them so the moment you consider them as barriers they start consuming you and if you resolve to be resilient against them you overcome them. 

Decision-Making: One of the Most Important 21st Century Skills

 Why the Ability of Decision Making is very Important in Life

Every day our life's platter serves us myriads of confusions and dilemma and every moment of our day we are rattling our brains to make some or the other decision. Our decisions can be related to simple daily choices or for Long Term plans to give a new definition to our life. These decisions can vary from petty issues like what to wear or what to have in lunch, to the bigger events like what course to pursue, which career to choose or whom to marry. Some people take quick decision and some take a long to research, mull over and finalize something in their life. Some even approach their friends and family to seek advice before taking a decision. Many resort to decision making by choosing a slip or tossing a coin and sometimes praying God for a cue to decide on something. We all are different in our decision-making ability but let's never forget the fact that everyone is born with unlimited potential and the ability to unleash that potential, to make a plus from a minus and the skill to draw a bigger line can only be cultivated when we are strong enough to make good decisions in our life.

A Good Decision Can Change Your Whole Life

Before we move on to the nitty-gritty of this complex yet one of the most important 21^st century skills let’s get to read an inspiring story about how decision making can transform a life.

Gulfam Ahmad, stricken by polio at birth, made a decision for himself that he would not depend on others due to his disability. It was a dismal beginning of the life of a family’s fifth child and their hope to find a cure for the ailment of their son brought the family to Delhi from a small village, Bijnor in UP. Gradually they accepted the fact that Gulfam would remain unable to walk for the rest of his life. But Gulfam’s choices and decisions were different for his life- the sight of a broken gate of school compelled him to venture into the building and watch the students over there. One day the school principal spotted him and readily agreed to admit him. It was an auspicious beginning for a boy of 8 but so many obstacles were yet to be tunneled through. At the age of 16, he made one more decision; the decision to join a gym and transform his body just like his favorite Bollywood star, Salman Khan. There he got a chance to meet a powerlifting coach and was introduced to the world of sports for people with disabilities. Here again, he decided to rewrite his destiny and since then the journey became a never ending process, he participated in many national events like wheelchair racing, power lifting, Taekwondo and organized scooter-rides for the differently-abled people.

In 2013, Gulfam made one more decision, to undergo a surgery so as to end his life’s years of crawling. He lived the glorious moment of his life when he won the title of Mr. Wheelchair India 2015, became a superstar and inspiration for many. He is a model, athlete, motivational speaker and a true fighter whose decision making power made him a real hero, whose decisions gave him the power to persevere despite overwhelming hurdles.

What is Decision Making

Decision making is one of the most important 21^st century skills which shows your expertise in choosing the best out of two or more alternatives. It’s a complex process of analyzing the information and options and set priorities for you. You have to navigate the risks and uncertainties before anticipating positive outcomes and consequences.

Why Decision Making is Important

How a good decision changes a precious human life, we have already read; decision-making inculcates reasoning, it trains you how to reason with the present and plan your future, stay aligned with your instincts and remain committed to your goal. The ability of decision making go in coordination with emotional intelligence, it motivates you to be critically aware of your emotions and stay rationale with them. Your emotions serve as perfect foundation for this process and when amalgamated with logical thinking, they result into the best solution.

Be a Good Decision Maker

Everyone can become a good decision maker by improving upon a few things. You need to identify the situation, before you jump into the process of decision-making. If the situation is a prolonged one or recur time and again, you need to be firm and a little harsh to become decisive on the matter. In case you have more options, make a list of all potential solutions and their plan of action. Critically examine the merits and demerits of each option, if your life depends on that decision; just think of the worst outcome also. When you are ready with your analysis, speculate if it matches with your goals and interests and at last Trust Your Instincts to get the best decision. Always reflect back on the entire process before you pick the best one for yourself.

Never hesitate in approaching your trusted friends and sensible people who you can trust for anything, they will reduce the amount of this tedious task for you and choose the best for you. Decision-making ability is an ornament for leaders, it adorns them with creativity and creativity brings innovation.

Your goals and achievements all hinge upon your ability to take right decisions at right time and your success is the fruit that ripens and sweetens during the process of decision-making.

Fear of Failure Impedes the Fulfillment of Your Dreams

 

How to Overcome the Fear of Failure

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

-Les Brown

This short line holds a very deep meaning and reveals most of the people’s life stories. Yes, most often people don’t live their dreams because they can’t stop living their fear which is a major road block in the way to success. Fear of failure impedes the fulfillment of your DREAMS; it snatches your freedom of making choices in your life and sneaks into your life to paralyze your determination. Let’s read a short story to get a deeper understanding of it.

Once a criminal was arrested and produced before the king for the judicial proceedings. After hearing the whole case, the king offered him two Choices of his punishment. The first choice was to be hanged till death and the second was to enter through a dark, scary, horrifying mysterious door. The criminal chose to die by hanging. When the scaffold was set and the criminal was brought near the noose, he was asked for his last wish. He turned to the king and asked, “I just want to know what’s there behind that dark, scary door.” The king laughed and replied, “I offer everyone the same choice and it’s surprising that everyone chooses the noose.” The criminal was now more curious to know what was behind the door and to this the king replied, “Freedom, but to my dismay the fear of unknown failure is more fearsome than death so nobody wants to go through the door, they do not try to overcome this fear and choose the noose.”

We all have fear, we feel fear, and it’s an emotion, a process of experiencing something, as simple as any other vital process of our life. The most dangerous of all fears is the fear of failure because it prevents you from doing something challenging. When fear of failure overpowers us we start avoiding struggle, become complacent and don’t like to come out of our Comfort Zone. Let’s read how to fortify your attitude to fight this fear and live your dreams.

Identify Your Fears

Fears are always baseless, irrational and illogical as they always stem from the imagination of ‘what if’ or ‘what might be’. Sometimes fear is aroused by a petty thought like; what others will think of me. Does it really matter, what others think about you? Come out of this fear as it doesn’t matter What People Think about you. It’s your life and you have to steer it the way you want to just focus on how to push your boundaries. Embrace your mistakes with a sense of pride do whatever frightens you.  If public speaking, stage performance or any other activity that arouses fear in you, try to engage yourself more and more as that’s the only way to overcome your fear. It’s very important to identify your fears, know them and challenge them that you are no more influenced by them. Be mindful of your plan of action and perform it without judging, criticizing or berating it.

Stop Overthinking about Future

Overthinking instills fear and inhibitions, when you overthink, you start worrying about the future that may or may not happen and often waste a lot of energy and time which could be better utilized in planning and preparation of an important task. Overthinking gives birth to fear and apprehensions and triggers a barrage of questions which you can’t answer. Overthinkers become like a leaking tap that can’t be turned off, one bad thought leading to another and the series continues till the whole situation turns into a real Conundrum. Feeling anxious about your future or thinking about it will do no good, except a bad mental health and fatigue. Shift your thought process from tiring yourself to finding solutions and pull yourself from the loop of overthinking. Focus on your present because future starts now, not tomorrow.

Circumstances are not Stumbling-Stones

Many believe that if circumstances favor them they can achieve their goal. On the contrary, it is not the circumstances that make you a winner or a loser, but your fearlessness that determines your destiny. You need to see these circumstances through the prism of wisdom and awareness so as to Transform Adversities into Opportunities.  Let’s never get shaken by the unwelcomed events and circumstances in your life, they hold their own importance; they occur to teach you the best lessons of your life and how to keep moving despite the turbulence. Just ponder upon the quote by Samuel Smiles: “It is not ease but effort, not facility but difficulty that makes men. There is, perhaps no station in life in which difficulties have not be encountered and overcome before any decided measure of Success can be achieved. Those difficulties are, however, our best instructors, as our mistakes often form our best experiences.”

Give Your Best and Accept the Result

Let us resolve to quell the challenges on our way and be unshakable within. When you put in your hundred percent and do all the necessary preparation, you feel confident and this confidence is very important to kill the fear of Failure. Focus on the task, not on the results because thinking about the results always makes us dubious of our abilities and takes a toll on our confidence. Comparison peters out your zeal and motivation, seeing somebody outperforming exacerbates your fear and anxiety so never let your confidence plummet by comparing yourself with others. Learn to compare you with your previous version, it will boost your morale and galvanize your efforts. Be true to yourself, give your best and accept the result.

 

 

The greatest treasure of human life is its fearlessness; fearlessness helps us venturing into the unknown and heralds the advent of fame, fortune and accomplishments. That is why until we liberate ourselves from the clutches of fear we won’t be able to live our life at its fullest. Know your potential and overcome your inhibitions. Have fruitful conversations with positive and erudite people. Strength and support of your family always stands out as beacons of hope and can shoo away any fear from your mind, spend time with the people you feel happy and positive with, it will help you develop a never say die attitude towards the dreams and goals of your life. Be proud of your impeccable capabilities and be aware of your weakness that will definitely turn the trajectory of your life and make you the Game-changer.

Welcome A New Year of Hope, Aspirations And New Skills

2022: A Year of Hope

The year 2021 has been a year of grief, loss, unpredictability and emotional turmoil, yet I would like to place hope above all the crushing realities of this annus horribilis. Amid the sense of disruption and misery, there’s a joy of triumph also associated with this year. India, when became the biggest vaccine manufacturer in the world and achieved the target of hundred crore vaccination in the year 2021, we knew we could bounce back even after the greatest fall. Our country’s 100 years’ wait for a Gold in Olympics got over when Neeraj Chopra threw his javelin to rewrite the history of Indian sports and to add more glory to our glorious nation. Every Indian felt elated when Harnaaz Kaur Sandhu, a girl of small town with bigger dreams and aspirations, was crowned Miss Universe amidst thundering applause.

The year 2021 witnessed radical changes in many sectors- education, wellness, sustainability, technology, women entrepreneurship, healthcare, sports, and business but the education system embraced the changes and challenges unfolded by the new normal at a greater speed. The entire education fraternity across the world was so agile in adapting the new normal mode of education. Now, everyone knows that without the set of new skills that includes resilience, Grit, Determination, adaptability and self-reliance, none would be able to sustain in this world for a longer term. The disruption caused by the global pandemic would definitely come to a cessation but at what cost we weren’t aware of so we kept moving ahead with learning, unlearning and re-learning. The morale of many professionals has ebbed due to the havoc caused by the pandemic yet the fighting spirit and urge for sustenance introduced a crescendo in many organizations and a paradigm shift in almost all spheres of life.

The Skills that Redefine Your Course of Life

The seclusion and WFH culture over the past two years have accentuated the importance and need of soft skills; now for professionals, it’s not just the degrees or talent that works but many more aspects of personality hold equal value in one’s professional and personal growth. We all have grappled a lot to accommodate ourselves in this new normal life, and we succeeded also but for a smoother ride on our career path and to catapult our growth graph we have yet to master many skills like; leadership, teamwork, collaboration, compassion, coordination, communication, innovation, empathy and the list is endless. Apart from all these there’s one more issue that needs a deeper understanding; having a wider humanistic perspective which teaches us to look at the positive aspects of everyone and to imbibe the virtue of magnanimity, forgiveness, and reconciliation.

 

Empathy and Inclusiveness

In today’s fast-paced society, everyone has become so self-centered that it feels really difficult to empathize with the people around us especially in the backdrop of Covid pandemic. Recently I chanced upon a quote which intrigued me and that goes as, “I am a person through other people. My humanity is tied to yours.” This quote explains the essence of being a human and how empathy and inclusiveness are two important aspects of any individual. We all are one and interconnected and whatever we do, we think, affects the surrounding, as the butterfly effect propounds, ‘one can’t remove a sand particle from its position without changing the other parts of the immeasurable whole’, which is absolutely relevant for the whole of mankind. The feeling of inclusiveness focuses on creating an environment where everyone is important despite their differences, it ensures that people with diversity can walk together, work harmoniously, contribute confidently, yield better results and add value to the system.

 

Interesting Read: How-To-Become-A-Learner

Let Others Feel Special

In this competitive and well connected era, everyone feels ignored, dejected and alone because social media has made people less social. Just think for a moment, do we actually listen to what others are saying? No, we just wait for our turn to speak, to reply because we are just hearing; when someone is talking, we are engaged with our mobile phones, we only keep it aside when we get a chance to speak. How awkward the situation is! A conversation is a two way process and listening is the most ignored aspect of this process. Avoid using mobile phones when you are sitting with people, lend them your ears so that you can reach to their inner self, understand what they are going through and communicate more effectively. Make them feel special that you are always there when they need your support. Make them feel heard because everyone is battling with some or the other issues of their life and the feeling of being ‘unheard’ can be devastating with the mental health of your near and dear ones. Listening to others makes you more empathetic and aware of their problems; and if you are a team leader you must try to bridge the communication gap with your team to make them more efficient, productive and loyal.

Appreciate Others and be Admired

Appreciation works as a booster dose for everyone’s mental and emotional well-being. It’s the best therapy that you can give to anyone at zero cost. Lack of recognition and appreciation hinders productivity and creativity. Learn to appreciate your colleagues, your family members, your friends and your teammates whenever they do something worth mentioning. Never wait for a big moment to clap for your people; it takes just a small moment to make someone valued and to instill more loyalty. Showing appreciation for others brings a sense of fulfillment and admiration to you as well so never be stingy in doing that, appreciate others and be admired.

Cultivate Optimism

Optimism makes you hope for the positive outcomes, it makes you have faith in yourself and your efforts; as quoted by Winston Churchill, “A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity while an optimist finds an opportunity in every difficulty.” Optimistic people interpret the ordinary events of life in an extraordinary way and that keeps them always happy and cheerful. With this tendency, they become resilient to stress, are better equipped to embrace the unexpected and accomplish whatever they undertake.

Let’s fuel 2022 with hope, aspirations and new skills to chase our dreams, to expand the arena of our existence and be empowered enough to bring a change in our as well as others’ life. Let 2022 be the year when you give wings to your choices and dreams, when you attain all your resolutions and be the best of yourself.

 

This year, take out more time for your SELF, and your loved ones; life is unpredictable, make it a roller coaster ride, have fun in whatever you do, explore and reform your yourself. In the words of Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the days you were born and the day you find out why.”

Would you like to find out in the upcoming year- which is the second most important day of your life!

Your Anger Can Transform Adversities Into Opportunities

 

Anger: A Human Emotion

We all have grown considering anger as a bad or negative emotion, in best of our knowledge. We feel good while talking about happiness, love, enthusiasm and achievements but talking about anger feels like something morally wrong or destructive and the reason is our social, cultural and religious beliefs often manifest anger as destruction and violence. So the youngsters are always taught to suppress or kill their anger and not to express it. In doing so, we forget that anger is a human emotion just like any other emotions such as joy or contentment but we never pay heed to its valuable impacts and benefits on human life and society as a whole. You get angry when you feel like things are out of place and that anger propels you to correct everything around you and motivates you to find solutions of the disorder and chaos in your life. You get angry when you see something wrong happening either with you or the people you feel connected to; your connectivity can be for people worldwide if you are an empathetic person. And it’s pretty natural to have anger, if you really care for your own being as well as others.

Anger Helps You Fight Your Fears

Your anger is the only weapon that can protect you from being subjected to any wrong. It helps you rise over all your fears. It makes you more informed and aware of your powers to help you adapt a better response. Anger is much required for survival and embedded in human mind to protect us and sharpen our focus. Whenever you feel threatened or attacked it is activated and drives you to fight back, act quickly and conquer the battles. Anger gives enough strength and aggression to overpower a stronger enemy and acts as a guiding force to fight our fears and transform adversities into Opportunities.

Anger doesn’t mean harboring resentment against people and waiting for the right moment to retaliate; anger is expressing and showing your disagreement and protest against the wrong. Often anger is mistaken for impulsive behavior, angry outbursts, holding grudges and accumulating bad thoughts. Anger instills optimism and give you bigger dreams to realize, it encourages you to have faith in yourself because whenever you are angry you think of channelizing your maximum powers against whatever angers you.

Anger Promotes Our Actions Against Injustice

It was the revolutionary Bhagat Singh’s anger that electrified a strong militancy in India in the 1930s and triggered a nationwide stir against the oppressive British rule. His anger to vindicate the honor of  a great nationalist, Lala Lajpat Rai, in fact the honor of  the  nation made him a hero in each and every town of Punjab as well as the rest of the northern India. His slogan, ‘Inquilab Zindabad’ still reverberates in every Indian heart and brims it with patriotism and love for motherland. It was the anger of Mangal Pandey that sparked the Indian Revolt of 1857 and united the whole nation to begin the fight against slavery and exploitation. When he felt his religious feelings were hurt due to the new cartridges, he didn’t hesitate in raising his voice against and spearheaded the ‘Sepoy Mutiny’ which eventually intensified the anger and agitation among Indians leading to the first War of Indian Independence.

Anger is triggered when you are denied justice or your basic rights. Anger helps you when to Trust Your Instincts and tells you something isn’t right and need to be corrected immediately. Standing up for yourself always makes you a victor, not a victim; your anger unveils the secret of your own power and determines how extreme you can go to fight against injustice. The people with a productive anger can only withstand the test of time as anger gives you the ability to wade through the unpredictable challenges of disrespect, humiliation and exploitation at both personal and professional fronts. 

Manage Your Anger Don’t Suppress It 

As we have already discussed that anger is a human emotion which can be empowering if managed well. Anything in excess is always bad and the same goes with anger. Anger releases a great amount of energy and if not used productively, it can be destructive. It can spoil your relationships and overall quality of your life.  Do you think you become impulsive when encounter such emotions? Or you breathe deeply and think about the possible solutions and take time to express your disagreement over that situation? It's very important to utilize the energy of anger while maintaining a calm and equipoise demeanor; which is considered one of the strongest social skills these days. If you can’t harness your anger, try to stay quiet for a while and escape the situation if possible. This respite will give you enough time to strategize your plan of action against the circumstances that trigger your anger . 

Remind yourself that getting infuriated is not going to fix anything, start honing your problem solving skills and be resolute and unswerving to your aims. Always remember, anger when released with violence and verbal abuse it vitiates its own powers and leave  one floundering. As Richard Davidson says, “Anger mobilizes resources, increases vigilance, and facilitates the removal of obstacles in the way of our goal pursuits, particularly if the anger can be divorced from the propensity to harm or destroy.”

To conclude, I would say, anger can make you achieve those heights in your career which your talent can’t so learn to harness the infinite energy of your anger and see it can do wonders.

Why Honour Killing in India Requires Urgent Reforms

Honour Killing: An Odius Crime

The recent heinous case of honour killing in Aurangabad, Maharashtra shook the society. The intensity of the rage was evident by the act of victim's younger brother who took selfies after beheading his pregnant elder sister and paraded the severed head of his sister in the locality. It was heart wrenching to know that his mother was the accomplice  in committing this brutal killing.

It was reported that a few months ago, the victim, Kirti, 19, eloped with Ajay, a resident of the same village and got married. When informed about their return to the village, both brother and mother of the victim went to meet her. She welcomed them wholeheartedly; little did she know what the motive of her mother and sibling was. While she was preparing tea and snacks for them, was brutally attacked by her brother by a sickle. Her mother grabbed her legs and the brother chopped her head off. The revenge was not yet over; neither it satiated their malice, the brother took the chopped head and showed it to her neighbors to prove that he had taught a lesson to his sister.

Another case of the same state narrates one more gruesome story when a woman and her husband were set ablaze by her father and other relatives as they were enraged on their inter caste marriage. She succumbed to her burn injuries and the man kept battling for life.

Is this the society we dream of? Is this the society we are proud of? And is this the development we are striving for where human rights have no existence and  personal choices and freedom of thoughts are meant to be crumpled under the feet of so called ‘honour’ of a family? Where atrocities on young couples are considered an important lesson for their decisions of marrying to a person of their choice, and everything is fair in the name of ‘HONOR’.

Honor killing is defined as killing for the sake of honor, a brutal killing that is awarded mostly to a woman or her partner by their own family members for getting married against their wishes. Whose ‘honor’ are we talking about? The honorable murderers or the orthodox elders who think that women’s prime responsibility is only to take care of her family members, doing the daily chores and carry the honour and legacy of the family by accepting the groom that they select for her. A girl of the family carries the dignity by not raising her voice against any wrong done to her while a boy preserves the honour by raising weapons, killing innocent and committing crime; such a wonderful parameter of “Gender Equality” in our society. 

The Factors Responsible for the Crime

In India, majority of caste members do not approve an inter caste marriage, any type of relationship outside their caste or within the same gotra is not allowed and this stereotype gives birth to outrage when young generation defies to follow such orthodox norms set by their elders. On the pretext of preserving the decorum and honour of the family; the crime takes birth. Not just the inter caste marriages, some other reasons like; losing virginity before marriage and tag of love marriage also contribute to such killings. To utter dismay, it can be a casual talk also. A dalit boy of 17 from a farmer’s family in Nagar district was beaten and strangled to death because he was talking to a girl of an upper caste. His body was found hanging from a tree in the village. The increasing cases of honour killing in the recent years is an alarming situation and mockery of the law, as per the data of National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), 251 murders were reported as honour killing cases in India and more than 300 cases have been reported in recent 3 years.

The barbaric murders in the name of honour not only violate human rights but infringe the integrity of institutions like police and judiciary also. The attitude of zero tolerance in caste matters is the prime factor behind these killings which are posing an impediment to our socio cultural growth and communal harmony. And that makes a strong reason why honour killing in India requires urgent reforms.

The Role of Khap Panchayats

Even after 75 years of independence, people of India are still victims of social evils like honour killing, Casteism and other violence in the name of communal and religious issues. In India, people still think caste is more important than life and under the fear of losing certain privileges of that particular caste; they choose to kill their own children instead of supporting them. Despite the rule by the Supreme Court that none can intervene in a happy married life of two adults, Khap Panchayats practice the ruthless administration in the villages where there is an absence of structured legislation and people are illiterate and not aware of their rights to freedom and constitutional rights to safeguard themselves from any kind of exploitation. Due to the inaccessible and fragile existence of law and order, these Khap Panchayats flourish in our country and still have the authority to declare punishments and settle dispute among them. These Khap leaders enjoy the power and supremacy by becoming the custodians of the honour of the entire clan and feel no hesitation in giving death penalty to those young couples who marry as per their choice.

A Ray of Hope

Many laws have been amended and government took strict action to curb this crime in Indian society yet we have to go miles. People need to understand the proverb stated by Justice Dipak Mishra, “Liberty, taking the word in its practical sense means the right to choose.” So it’s the need of the hour to change the perspective of considering caste and gotra above human life. Many NGOs have come forward to fight against this social evil and helped young couples.  They provide legal guidance, financial support and safe houses to these tormented couples. They even provide assistance for marriage solemnization and registration.

But will that suffice to curb this ghastly crime, certainly not; the problem is not with the generation gap and the freedom of choices, the problem is the mindset, the taboo which casts a shadow over the budding dreamers and beating hearts who just want a safe and happy life and a life partner of their own choice. Do you still think; they are wrong?

Let’s wait together for the dawn that will witness the cessation of such atrocities on innocent lives.

When Things Go Wrong in Life, Trust Your Instincts

Talk to Yourself-Trust Your Instincts

The ability of realizing what’s right for you when everything is going wrong is the trust that you have in your instincts. And this ability always leads you towards a concrete decision and a fruitful action in your life. The people who answer their inner calls always succeed because it keeps their instincts alive and that’s the only way forward. Former international cricketer and captain of Indian cricket team, Mahendra Singh Dhoni is one of the best examples of the people who pursued their passion with an unwavering trust in their instincts. Undeterred, he weathered all the difficulties with the unquenched zest for his sport while following his instincts. Though his father never liked his growing interest in cricket as he believed there was no future in sports, Mahi remained firm about what he wanted from his life. After completing High School, he started looking for a job so that he could fund his sporting and luckily got selected for the role of a ticket collector at the Kharagpur Railway Station because the SER (South Eastern Railways) cricket team was looking for a wicketkeeper.

At this point, life became very tough for him; he would run all day at the platforms and practiced at training nets, in the late evenings. He was swinging between his passion for cricket and his job in railways. Three years passed, but he kept balancing everything as he knew that his heart was beating for the cricket ground only. He was confident, his instincts would not deceive him and finally his determination and hard work paid off when he was selected in Indian Cricket Team for an ODI series against Bangladesh. Rest is History!

Your instincts have infinite powers to prepare you for any battle; they show you the right way to deal with the obstructions and guide you when to change your perspective about such seemingly insurmountable hurdles in your life. It is beautifully quoted by Martin Luther King Jr., ”As my sufferings mounted, I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.” These words clearly express the momentous influence our instincts have on our action when faced with difficulties, worries and adversities. They will determine whether to fall in the trap of anger, hurt, uncertainty, revenge, disappointment and sadness or to emerge as a fighter, a warrior and eventually a winner.

 

"It’s very important to observe, how you talk to yourself, because you are sure to be listening to it." Making affirmations about your capabilities and accepting your weaknesses are also very important in decision-making. Introspecting feels like journeying into the deeper realms of your core which opens a way to self-realization and helps you handle your expectations.

Be Willing to do the Undesired also:

There are many who feel annoyed when forced to do something against their wish; it can be a new assignment or a responsibility that they don’t like to do or feel this is going to demean position. They assume that people are trying to undermine their worth and that very moment an emptiness creeps in them and finally they choose either to escape or to step back. It becomes galling when they start feeling as there’s nothing left to do for them now. Let's try the same with a different perspective, doing something that doesn’t fall in your list of choice can make you more resilient and teach you something that you could never ever Learn while walking on the usual path of your life. Moreover, one can explore new vistas and scale new heights while doing the undesired. One should always remember; “There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Some tunnels just happen to be longer than others.” Ordinary people keep doing the ordinary things in their usual way but successful people never build any Comfort Zone for them, they nurture themselves more when things fall apart and do everything with great happiness they are expected to and never hesitate in undertaking arduous tasks.

What’s Wrong V/S Who’s Wrong

Whenever problems fall upon us we start blaming others for conspiring against us. We think that all the problems in our life are because of the people around us, we never pay attention on what’s going wrong, so when you feel thing are not turning up the way you were expecting; you must reflect on your own life to find- What’s wrong? Blame games and complaints will ruin your mental peace and deplete your consciousness. You will become revengeful and end up in the frustrating phase of your life. Always believe that every experience or situation in life, good or bad, comes with their own rewards and such positive attitude will give you strength to stay calm and gain control on your mind during the toughest times of your life. Focus on mend what’s wrong instead of blaming and targeting people when things are going topsy-turvy in your life.

Never Wait for the Right Time, Do it Right Now:

I have heard many people speaking about their future plans or resolutions to begin when met with certain conditions or waiting for the right time. I never understand what is a ‘right time’ to start something right in one’s life. It’s your resolution or passion that is important and every moment is the perfect moment to begin something in life and the best time is NOW. Procrastination kills potential even in the most skilled professionals, learn to make the maximum use of your talents and never wait for the right opportunities to fall your way, convert every single option into a right opportunity for you. Talk to yourself when in dilemma, you are the best advisor of yourself. 

Let's follow this simple formula of life: When Things Go Wrong in Life, Trust Your Instincts.

You Have Endless Possibilities Within You

Learn to Explore the Infinite Possibilities Within You

Have you ever thought of the infinite possibilities within you and what you can do to explore them? If not, just try to ponder the words of Thomas Edison, “When you’ve exhausted all possibilities, remember this. You haven’t.” These words express a very deep meaning about the infinite potential of human mind and nothing is impossible for you if you can ignite this treasure of potential within you. Let’s try to connect the same with the story of Dr. Sharif Tabebordbar.

Sharif Tabebordbar was born in 1986 and the same year, his father, Jafar had started developing the symptoms of a muscle wasting disease and this mysterious disease eventually defined Sharif’s life as an incredible scientist whose research led to an unprecedented medical discovery that can transform gene therapy and correct genetic defects; for almost all muscle wasting diseases including muscular dystrophies that affect about 100,000 people in the US, according to the MDA, Muscular Dystrophy Association.

In his growing years, Sharif was watching his father's mobility gradually deteriorating, he resolved to find a cure for this rare disease and finally his quest led him to a doctorate in developmental and regenerative biology, the most competitive ranks of academic medical research.

Born in Shiraz, Iran, Dr. Sharif moved to Rasht when he was 9. His excellent score in a national test helped him seek admission in a High School, which was part of Iran’s National Organization for the Development of Exceptional Talents. As he was already driven by the ardent desire to cure his father, he chose to study biological sciences. Sharif’s mother, Tahereh Fallah, who herself wanted to become a doctor but couldn’t continue her studies in Iran, motivated both her sons to pursue their dreams and supported them in each of their endeavors.

After completing his High School he was determined to get selected for the accelerated program at the University of Tehran and made a position for himself among 8-10 student from the country by placing himself seventh out of 1.3 million. As the young boy had vowed to find a cure for his father’s illness he moved on with a fervent zeal and completed his Bachelor’s, Master’s and Doctorate in just nine years. During the years of his research on muscular dystrophies, the only question that kept hovering over him was: What caused my father’s illness?

When his father visited Harvard to attend the graduation ceremony in the year 2016, Dr. Sharif got an opportunity to have Jafar’s gene sequenced to figure out the mystery and to his surprise it wasn’t any mutation but a rare genetic disorder which is not caused by a mutation in a gene but a mutation in an area between genes that leads to excretion of a toxic chemical which kills the muscle cells. Despite all his efforts to cure his father, he couldn’t help him but he hopes that his research will save many lives and he kept moving on to his journey and co founded a drug company, named Kate Therapeutics which will focus on gene therapy for muscle diseases.

This story of passion and strong determination teaches that every human being is imbued with immense potentiality and we just need to awaken it. We can become what we want; it’s only a matter of being resolute and uncompromising on our dreams. Never forget that you have endless possibilities within you.

Life Changing Read: Failures are Opportunities

Know Your Inherent Powers

It’s good to know others but it will be wise to know yourself, as Nature has bestowed endless possibilities and potential upon everyone and it's very important to explore the inherent powers in us. Always believe that you are a miracle with limitless potential of your own, that none can confiscate from you. Adversities and circumstances may lower down your enthusiasm but can’t alter the reservoir of the potentiality within you. It is always inspiring to believe that you have endless possibilities and powers to experience life to its fullest and bring a change in the wider world too. Let your strong beliefs and personal narratives of overcoming your fears script your life story as they hold incredible energy to define and determine your destiny. Never allow your insecurities to dwell upon you and diminish your powers.

Shift Your Perspective Away from the Consequences

Before we dream and strive for something we start assuming about its results and outcomes. which is a major setback in our growth. Take every choice of your life as a pristine canvas and keep painting on it without paying any heed to the results, failures and dichotomies. The moment you start thinking about the outcome you start losing your faith in your own abilities and become apprehensive about your choices. It makes you seek advice from others and finally you end up in utter confusion. We all know that realities impose limits on us and force us to be dubious on our capabilities but this is how we have to navigate the complexities and hardships of life. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves to keep our focus clear and have faith in our efforts and efficiency. There’s no other way round.

Stop Comparing Yourself with Achievers

Never think that your achievements are too small to be proud of. Comparison Kills! When you compare your achievements and success to other people’s there will always be a great number ahead of you. If you have completed a half marathon today, there will be hundreds to have completed the full one on the same day so there’s no point in falling prey to this endless cycle of comparison. Set your own benchmark, take baby steps and be proud of your progress. There will be many who progress faster than you but let's  never forget- life is not a race; life is a joyride and everyone has their own pace and adventures. Challenge Your Comfort Zone to go beyond your limits and explore the infinite possibilities within you.  Keep moving ahead, no matter how slow it is, and just impress you at every milestone. 

Human life is full of challenges and problems and they can never overpower you till you let them reside in your inner self. We all know that ships never sink due to the water around them; they sink when the water gets into them. So, the choice is yours- would you let the water of insecurities and fear get into the ship of your life OR you will explore and utilize the powers within you? 

Be unstoppable, be unrelenting and be powerful!