I will fall, I will fail but I will never give up.
It’s often said that, “Best is not just the superlative but the Enemy of Good.” We all yearn to attain perfectionism in our own realms of personal, professional, emotional and social potpourris but hardly we stop and think how strongly we are tethered to get attacked and injured by this double-edged sword that we fail to notice and mitigate the negatives of perfectionism and keep striving to meet hopelessly unrealistic standards. A positive and healthy understanding of perfectionism can propel us towards achieving our goals but there’s a big chasm between enjoying the journey towards perfectionism and the destination. To fill this gap one needs the key to find balance and to relax into a place where good enough becomes the ‘new perfect’. Getting out of this shackle can make you more adept at meeting the challenges and free up more time to work on the changes needed to bring work and life into better alignment.
The Pressure of Performance:
Many
perfectionists live in the tendencies that are rooted in fear and insecurity as
they are constantly under performance pressure. They worry never to lose their
meticulousness and well organized systems of working and often become
circumspect about channelizing their strengths just to cling to their
perfectionism. In order to maintain the performance level often indulge into
incredibly time consuming details and efforts which is at times detrimental to
your health and mental well being. A perfectionist toils in search of this
amorphous goal of perfection and repetitively mulls over a thought or a problem
without ever coming to a resolution. It results into anxiety and stress. In
pursuit of giving the best they start ruminate and tend to become
less-forgiving of them.
The Penchant of Perfectionism:
Ironically
we dwell in a world that idolizes perfectionism. From a very young age our
parents, teachers, coaches and peers push us to be high achievers but they fail
to teach us the balance. We sweat and exert ourselves relentlessly to fulfill
our desire of being the best which debilitates our capabilility of
understanding ‘what is enough?’ and ‘where to pull back?’ Extensive e research
has found the psychology of perfectionism to be rather complex. Perfectionists
strive to produce flawless work, and maintain higher level of motivation and
expertise than non-perfectionists. However, they are more likely to set
inflexible and excessively high standards, to evaluate their behaviour overly
critically, to hold on an all-or-nothing mindset about their performance. They
believe that their work is either perfect or a failure. So, to a certain level
perfectionism is beneficial but not constructive always.
Start Loving your Imperfections:
“To
err is to human,” we know that without making mistakes we can’t learn and
accomplish anything. If we know and accept the idea of being the authentic
version of ourselves, we will start loving our efforts and learning from our
mistakes derives deep satisfaction from within. It’s a lot easier to tolerate
making mistakes and having flaws if we know how to curb rumination, if
excessive thinking is just going in circles without helping to find a solution,
it will definitely put us into a bad mood, so let it go.
How to Change this Attitude:
The
most popular approach to mitigate the lows and negatives of perfectionism is to
plan how you can improve by 1%. Have smaller goals so that you’ll start to see
that there are easier ways to improve than what you’re imagining. Think
positive about your past and reflect on times when you had tried something new.
It will fill you with exultation despite your failure in that attempt. This
helps you “learn from your experiences”.
Sometimes
try to bring distractions to your routine life as they can break the monotony
and the consistent patterns which you have set for yourself. Once you begin
working on moderating your perfectionist tendencies, a weekly review is
recommenced through which you can reflect on your progress and see the change
where your perfectionism has a positive impact and where it does not have. This
way you will redirect yourself to build a more sensible and practical
perfectionism in yourself. Calibrate your standards and understand what you are
writing or saying doesn’t have to be the final word; it just has to contribute
something useful. Create a checklist that ensures you follow a process with
measurable targets and make yourself ‘Perfect’ to harness the positives of
perfectionism.
Let me continue to stride on my journey towards perfection and excellence, I will fall, I will fail but I will never give up.
-Rachna Babel
