Failures are Opportunities to Reflect, Revamp and Recharge Your Life

The Line Between Winning and Losing is Your Way of Acceptance

Rohan was the most eligible Branch Manager for the next promotion of Regional Head, his fingers were crossed for months to receive the news from the HO and he was very excited about it. But what was in store for him? Not only did Rohan not get promoted for the post, but also one of his peers was about to take charge of the higher post. He felt sorry for himself and couldn’t overcome this loss for months.

Do you take such incidents as loss or failure in your life? Or you find them as opportunities when confronted with such experiences? Let’s read about one such life which was full of failures and obstacles yet the most celebrated one that won many hearts.

Walt Disney who founded world’s largest entertainment conglomerates is widely known as the most popular flag bearer in the world of cartoon characters and animation. His influence on film making and entertainment will be remembered forever. But only a few know that behind his huge success, there was a series of losses and failures. And what had changed his life; was the attitude of accepting failures as an opportunity to reflect, revamp and recharge the course of action.

Walt Disney took his first job as a newspaper cartoonist but was fired soon as they didn’t find him creative at his work. Disappointed Disney started a series of animated cartoon with the name, Laugh-O-grams but couldn’t make enough for a living. He would visit many producers with his videos but returned dejected, disappointed. All his successful projects met dejection in the beginning but he never thought of accepting his ideas as failures. He did not quit.  After the growing popularity of his creation, Micky Mouse, he began to work on other animal characters with speech, skills and human traits. He even tunneled through phases of criticism, despair and discouragement yet he knew what he was planning to achieve and emerged as a glorious winner proving his ideas as pathbreaking experimentation in the American animation world. The exponential increase in the popularity of The Disney studio gave him much enthusiasm to dream a big amusement park near Los Angeles. His project was considered as impossible and he could collect the finance for his dream project only after 302 investors turned down the proposal of the Disneyland. Finally, when Disneyland was opened for public in the year 1955, much of his imagination, creativity and fantasy were reflected in its design and construction. It became a favorite tourist destination and a place that thrilled the fantasies of not just children but adults as well.

Sharing the Long Term Benefits of handling failures and setbacks in life, Disney said, “All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all the troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”

What is Your Interpretation of Failure

A strong attitude of responding to mistakes and failures helps everyone bounce back and consider losses as lessons and failures as opportunities to show fortitude. Every attempt, strategy or plan of action takes birth with its inevitable share of hiccups; we can’t change it, we do fail. But failure is not as important and striking as our interpretation of it. How you respond to your loss defines your choices in life and you are not a loser till the moment, you accept it as a loss, so it’s very important to learn how to react to the failures and loss in life because when you accept yourself as a failure and give up on it, you become a loser. You must understand that the genuine appreciation of your worthiness and quality depends on your acceptance of an event as your success or failure. It’s you who decide, whether you have won or lost so keeping your morale high even in the direst situations is your capability of becoming a victor. So start thinking comprehensively, not impulsively when you confront failures in life, the line between winning and losing is only your way of acceptance.

 

Reflect, Revamp and Recharge Your Plan of Action

Failures demand a deep reflection and enable you nurture tenacity so take them as regular term examinations in your life. They give an opportunity to pause and ponder, reflect, review and repair what’s broken. And this entire process can be possible when you balance yourself and equalize the low and tide of your emotions. As we all agree to this point that failures have a tendency to imprison our minds and it feels impossible to come out of its clutches for long but would you like to choose to wallow in self-pity and keep nursing your wounds for the rest of your life? Or you will rise up against all these adversities and gift yourself a fulfilled life. When failures trigger fear, insecurities and cynicism plan your fight back strategy and muster your courage to replace the gloom and doom. Reflect on your Efforts, find the flaws and revamp your strategy.

 

Focus on Solutions with Optimism

Your optimistic approach determines how quickly and smartly you learn the lessons from the failures and pave your path for growth and success. Think of the solutions and don’t crib about the obstacles; they will keep bothering you, and they should never demand your attention. A fair assessment of your attempt will shift your focus to visualizing a fortified plan to attain success and accomplishments. You are capable of doing everything you strive for just learn and practice to tap into your inner reservoir of infinite strength.  

“Every endeavor pursued with passion produces a successful outcome, regardless of the result. For it’s not always about winning or losing but to assess the quality of the efforts and the attitude you develop after producing the outcome.

Invest in Relationships to Earn Long Term Benefits in Life

 

Spend Time and Invest Love in Your Relationships

Humans are inherently social and Love to be surrounded by people; they are addicted to cry on others’ shoulders, rejoice with a crowd while boasting about their achievements and can’t think of celebrations without a mob of their near and dear ones. Yet, today we are standing alone at the crossroads of ceaseless ambitions, work and family life stress and a monotonous pursuit of attainment of the lofty goals of life, and an inner conflict of justifying our own choices of falling in this quagmire which we define as life. Can we really call it a life? How life can exist without the warmth and exuberance of the loving and selfless relationships that we choose to compromise when materialistic goals take precedence over everything. What we will do with the infinite achievements when we have none to share our happiness with.

The Pyrrhic victory of the Pandavas, in the battlefield of Kurukshetra is quintessential of the ultimate truth of human survival when all their kith and kin were wiped out in the name of honor and integrity. The Pandavas lamented after the war was over though they were victors but the cost that they had paid for this victory made them disenchant themselves.

When the pandemic disrupted everything in everyone’s life, the importance of relationships emerged as the only savior to help us and find our way out of this labyrinth. Many must be still living with the compunction that they had harbored resentment and grudges with their relatives and never bothered to revive those relationships. In reality, life is too short to wait for others to extend their hands to reconcile; go and grab your people for yourself. Make it a goal to invest in relationships to earn long-term benefits in life.

Life’s all memories narrate the moments of loving others and being loved by others and our most trusted relationships provide us an impalpable verve and stability in our thought process.  Family and relations are the most formidable forces in your life that guard you against all adversities and obstacles so invest in them, don’t be hasty and precipitous to keep those ‘once lively and loving relations’ in abeyance.

Ego Should Never Rule Any Relationship

Humility is an essential virtue and must exist in everyone to establish peace and harmony in all relationships; humility lays the foundation of the camaraderie among the groups of varied opinions and different perspectives. Each one of us is possessed by an undefined EGO, (for what? Nobody knows) and when ego overpowers our mind, it starts obliterating even the most treasured relations of our Life. Be careful if your love and attention for your loved ones is ego-driven, you will end up with bitterness and sorrow in that relationship.

The words of William James say, “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. The factor is the attitude.”

Practice humility in your attitude; overcome your ego and control it so that it can’t build walls and obstruct your near and dear one to come closer to you.

Interesting Read: Explore-True-Happiness

Healthy Relations Break the Monotony of Life

In this fast pace world, our mind is inundated with Endless expectations and dreams while the list of our near ones is being gradually whittled down because we prioritize to strive relentlessly to fulfill our desires without bothering to the stagnation which creeps into us. Eventually, the majority of us are at an intellectual cul-de-sac and the whole pursuit of success boomerang back on us. This bleak, barren lifestyle clutches our emotional well-being and alleviates the miseries of life. On the contrary, the healthy relationships in your life boost your happiness level and you feel delighted to rejoice your happy hours with them. A slight shift in your outlook about the relations in life can help you relish your leisure time with them. Despite the fact that relatives always remain at loggerheads, you are sure, when you need them; they will come rushing to hug you. All your gains are futile if you don’t earn the wealth of good relations and don’t preserve them. Learn to Forgive Your Loved Ones, offer your support and help if you want to nurture the bonds with them.

 

Reflect On Your Relationships

Cultivate generosity in your behavior, it is rightly quoted; “To an artist there’s nothing ugly in Nature and to a generous heart there’s none in the world to feel rancor towards.” When you are generous to your people, you respect their privacy and priorities which is an essential catalyst to sustain the dignity of any relation. In relationships, most of the time, the expectations are on higher side; you want others cater to you, pamper you and fulfill your emotional demands. But you fail to consider the other person’s expectations from you and here you successfully sign up for a life of conflicts and loneliness. Let’s not expect any relationship to continue on the basis of our whims and fancies, rather reflect upon them and have larger hearts to handle the tiffs.

 

OUR MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND PERSONAL WELL BEING entirely depends upon the quality, transparency and warmth of our relationships. If we are well-knit with our loved ones we feel safe, secure and happy because we know that our lives are filled with the desired time and attention we demand from our near and dear ones. The most priceless emotions and experiences are those which are shared and cherished with the people we love. And these people can be enlisted as family, relatives, neighbors and colleagues; the wider groups can comprise those people also whom you share your hobbies with, like gym, sports or religious activities. Invest in your relationships so that you feel more secured and loved and I am sure you will cultivate a sense of awe and gratitude if your inner self is experiencing the joi de vivre because you have the most amazing people in your life. Treasure them, love them, adore them and invest in them you will surely reap long-term benefits and the biggest one is the bliss of enjoying the holistic health of mind, body and soul.

Giving Your Children Liberty to Learn Makes them Competent

Anshul and Nishtha are extremely doting and hands-on parents. They leave no stone unturned to give a good upbringing to their 9-year-old son, Prayaan. They are perfect at managing their office schedules, taking breaks to spend productive time with him and encouraging him round the clock to do various activities and help him complete all his tasks. Despite a very well balanced and perfect parenting, they observe that Prayaan hesitates with relatives, neighbours and the less frequent visitors. He keeps maximum distance with new acquaintances and never feels comfortable when strangers are around. After weeks’ discussion, the parents found the reason in their own behaviour when Prayaan was a toddler, they never allowed him to walk freely in a garden, never used a public transport with him and never let him do his school activities and projects alone. They never wanted him to do things in his own way just to facilitate him and avoid mistakes. Over-possessive attitude of the parents and over assistance in his hobbies and interests made him dependent and introvert; the results are quite obvious, now he doesn’t want to mingle with new people and never feels confident in doing things alone. For every miniscule thing he looks forward for his parents support.

Give Your Children Liberty to learn and Build them Stronger than ever

When children are not given the liberty to learn, doing things alone, making mistakes and facing challenges they don’t grow as resilient youth and avoid taking risks in life. The more freedom they get at doing things and completing tasks, the more robust they become in making decisions and neutralizing threats. So try to give them opportunities to struggle and learn on their own, it will give them an impetus to unveil their strengths and capabilities. 

The major factor responsible for why parents don’t allow their children to make mistakes and confront challenges and failures is the family system of today’s era. Let’s read how it affects:

The Growing Prevalence of Nuclear Families

The traditional Indian joint family system which is based on the principles of collectivism, promotes social cohesion and interdependence among the members of the family and the little ones imbibe the strongest values at a very early age. However, with the growing culture of nuclear families, children’s social and emotional growth has faced a setback and the over alert and agile parents of today have added fuel to fire. The child is the only centre of attraction in a nuclear family so the parents want to facilitate him/her more than what is required. As we know a child’s incipient personality is greatly influenced by what he observes at home in his formative years so when a child grows up doing most of the tasks with the assistance of others, he never develops a streak to plunge into newer realms and grows with myopic attitude. So as a parent and guardians, we must give a required level of liberty to our children to make them more competent.

 

Have Strong Faith in Children’s Efforts

Parents are the primary agents for shaping up their children’s personality and their open behaviour can make children strong, stable, resilient and practical if they respect their individuality, freedom of choice, privacy and personal space. Mostly, people think that children should be given liberty to learn alone at a certain age so that they don’t make mistakes. But they fail to understand that mistakes are the best teachers and, by expressing such ideology they reveal that they lack faith and trust in their children’s efforts, and this practice leaves a lasting impression in child’s memory and proves a major deterrent in cultivating self-belief and self-confidence. Talk freely and positively about their mistakes so they consider mistakes as a part of learning process.

The famous Hollywood actress, humanitarian and tabloid star, Angelina Jolie speaks about her mother, who died from ovarian cancer at the age of 56, as an “extraordinary woman”. She describes about her mother that she was an ardent art lover and always supported her for whatever she wanted to choose for herself. She let her children explore the nuances of an actor’s life and how to express themselves in difficult situations. Angelina further adds, she would sit in the car for hours till her auditions continued and rejoice with her like a bird on her selection. The most amazing part of her parenting was she would embrace difference of personalities and was open to all experiences. She never tried to make her daughter a mould of her rather raised her with art and creativity and both were very different from each other as two women. Giving children liberty to learn things and explore life and people on their own offers new horizons to their imagination and creativity. 

 

Let Children Experience all Kinds of Emotions

Giving emotional liberty to a child is very important yet we never want our children to get angry, scared, feel threatened or disappointed. It’s absolutely normal if a child is scared of a spider or a lizard but we do our best to avoid our child’s confrontations with these emotions and here we make a mistake of providing him/her an over protective environment and obstruct his way of growing as a fearless person. Struggling and working on a challenge during a child’s growth years is always good for brain’s neurological growth. On the contrary, the children in an over protective environment avoid challenges and shy away from taking risks if they find any possibility of failure in their attempt. This impacts a child’s holistic development and he starts having inhibitions. We should never forget that struggles are helpful experiences and always vital for facilitating learning and growth.

Also Read: Never-to-Advise-Adolescents

Parents’ mindset and their approach regarding an open and flexible way of nurturing the young minds determine whether the children’s development is fixed or malleable. They should also focus on the importance of efforts and mistakes in the process of learning. If parents give their children liberty to learn and explore, children will grow as confident and innovative youth and this attitude of parents will definitely have sizeable effects on their skills and learning. You are always a role model for your child so just think As a Parent Do You Preach or Perform? Learn to be responsive and consistent in all your interactions and activities with your kids, encourage them to pay and buy smaller things from themselves in your presence. Let them make their choice even if you feel they may fail; if they succeed they will rejoice, if they fail they will learn from their mistakes and you will learn more. Trust me, your child always teaches you to be a better parent, you just need to understand and identify their responses and build an empathetic coordination with your kids, rest you are doing perfectly fine!

Self-Confidence Is The Key To Reaping More Rewards In Life

Win and live all your dreams by taking your self confidence a notch higher

When Thomas Alva Edison was ready with his invention of light bulb, he called his office boy to test that bulb. His entire team of assistants was very happy because it took Thomas 1000 attempts to invent the bulb. As the office boy was feeling nervous in front of the scientist and the team, he couldn’t hold the bulb tightly and unfortunately he dropped the bulb. The poor office boy wasn’t unaware of his fate; he knew he would be fired but nothing happened for the next two days.

After two days Edison again called the office boy and all his assistants were astounded to see that he handed him over another light bulb and asked to test it. None could believe their eyes and asked Edison, why he called the office boy and what if he dropped the bulb again? Edison calmly replied, “It took me just one day to make the bulb again but if I don’t give him the same task again, the boy will never be able to regain his self-belief and self-confidence. And I will never let that happen."

The idea behind this act is very deep and important; most of us give up on those things we feel we are not good at  and never try to boost our confidence to make even a single effort to achieve that unattainable. Self –confidence is the key to conquer all our dreams and teaches us that mistakes or failures must never dampen the spirit to do miracles in life and to live life at its fullest. We all believe that self-confidence is the key to reaping more rewards in life yet very often we don’t do something we yearn for, just because once mistaken, and lose our self-confidence forever, whether it is driving, swimming, playing a sport, participating in a competition or public speaking; we step back if we fail at first attempt and don't work on that skill. Let's never forget that there’s nothing in this world, one can’t achieve if he/she honestly strives for it as it is rightly said by the Brazilian writer, Paulo Coelho in his book, The Alchemist, “When you want something so desperately; all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” So never lose your self-confidence and practice the small tricks to bring a positive and productive change in your personality.

Interesting Read: Challenge-Your-Comfort-Zone

Feel Great About Your Flaws and Imperfections

Don’t observe the things at their face value; it brings ignorance towards what your destiny has stored for you. Your capabilities are always much more than your limitations and these limitations add a great potential to your personality when you convert them into your strengths. Once, Bruce Lee, the martial art expert was asked about his inspiration and mantra of success, he replied, “I don’t have a perfect body. My right leg is roughly an inch shorter than my left that is why I put my right leg forward in my stance. I am short-sighted so I specialize in close encounters and in this way, I have turned all my imperfections into my strengths.” So boost your self-confidence by feeling great about your flaws and imperfections. Convert your weakness into an advantage and avail all the Opportunities that fall on your way to enhance your self confidence; as self-confidence is the key to reaping more rewards in life.

Learn From Your Failures and Never Give up

In today’s scenario, when everyone loves to talk only about success, achievements and material gains, the basic rule of life has become, “Either prove or perish”, and it seems as if failure is never dignified. Nobody wants to discuss about failure, which in a larger context, lays the foundation of victory. If you wish to become a self-confident person, take lessons from your failures and accept them with courage, verve and grace. Failures are never Failures; they are the attempts that you have made in pursuit of success. This attitude will build your self confidence and personal excellence will greet you every moment, at every step, at each of your endeavor.

Focus on Smaller Goals to Enhance Your Self-Confidence

There are three types of goals in everyone’s life; short-term, long-term and medium-term, most of us invest our maximum time in thinking, planning and putting in our persistent efforts to achieve the long-term goals. But the most important ones are the short-term goals which always drive you towards the bigger goals and eventually make them easier for you. A sense of achievement always fills you with immense confidence without measuring the size of the goal so if you achieve something regularly you feel more confident about yourself and your capabilities which is possible when you decide smaller goals for yourself. So continue to work on your short-term goals as the habit of Goal Setting takes your self-confidence a notch higher.

Self-Control is a Booster Dose for Stronger Self-Confidence

Emotions play a pivotal role in building a personality and it’s very important to nurture the ability of self-control as with the help of this guiding force we can tap into to have a more fulfilled life. When we are driven by our emotions, we get distracted from our purpose and forget to control impulses, fight temptations and exercise willpower. A greater level of self-control makes us decisive, resilient and inhibits the pull of temptations which functions as a cornerstone of emotional intelligence and trains our mind to rely on its strengths and enhances our self-confidence. Avoid rumination on past events, think about your present and plan your future, it will stop you losing your confidence on the things that are not under you’re your control.

Self-confidence is just like magic; it helps you navigate your life the way you want and instills trust in your abilities and judgment. Self-confidence is not only looking and appreciating your strengths but recognizing your flaws also and how to conquer them. Take your self-confidence a notch higher so that you can get ready to embrace your full potential.

Always remember, “With a greater self-confidence, you become a winner even before you start on it.”