The Effective Ways to Say No Can Relieve You from Stress
Blogger: Have You Learnt to Say No?
Reader: NO
Blogger: Let’s Learn How to Say No
Often
it becomes very difficult to say NO if people ask for something. Actually we
are wired to connect ‘YES’ with love, care and support of that person.
Conversely, ‘no’ is taken as rejection; it may provoke ire in our heart, we
start deleting those people from our friends’ list and harbour grudges against
them. So we prefer not to take the risk of sounding flippant and inadvertently
keep on churning our own regrets and helplessness after saying ‘YES’ to
something we really don’t want to. Saying no is an important skill and we can’t
say yes to everyone and every time. People feel annoyed and disheartened when
hear no, so it’s really arduous to escape such situations. Learning to say no is an important life skill, you have to be
courteous enough while saying no. It’s pretty natural to not agreeing every time
but one should take care while saying no or showing disagreement. One should never make
others feel insulted, ‘No’ must never be mistaken with disrespect and apathy
towards your near and dear ones. So it’s one of the most important skills- how
to say NO to someone when you are not in a position to help them. Let’s read a
few tips to say NO without hurting people.
Don’t Show Yourself Busy
As
every relationship rests on the bedrock of trust and mutual understanding and
saying NO is considered as neglecting the people who trust and love you so it’s
a very sensitive issue to discuss how to learn to say no. Never say no while being
ostentatious in your attitude. If you show off that you are very busy and
that’s why can’t help your friend or colleague, it will certainly show the stingy
side of your personality. It will be rude and unacceptable so don’t say ‘NO’
abruptly. Take a pause and politely convey that you are preoccupied with
certain other engagements, hence can’t help in this matter. Always buy time for
yourself as it’s not necessary to respond each and every request quickly and in
an affirmative manner.
Avoid Making False Excuses
Often
we feel a social or emotional pressure if it becomes urgent to say NO to our
near ones. In an attempt to save our relationship, we make false excuses which
in turn make us guilty of our own act. The approach required to deal with such
situations should involve being courteous in saying; “I’m sorry, I can’t do it
right now but will soon let you know if I can help you in this matter.” Making
excuses and telling lies will only raise your burden to handle the whole
mountain of the mole so just provide a short and appropriate explanation of why
you can’t say yes at that moment. Saying no doesn’t become a problem if uttered
in an effective and honest way; we propagate the issue if we don’t have a
sincere approach and ultimately leading it to communication gaps and relationship
problems.
Be Assertive and Polite
Sometimes
we are caught up in a situation when we have to say NO to our elders and bosses
and it can ruin a lot if the negation is not expressed genuinely. An abrupt NO will
be worst option even if you are true to them, so displaying your naivety at such
delicate points may lead to harsh consequences. Be Mindful
and seek permission before nay saying. For example you can express your
inability by putting forward your apt reasons for saying NO to that particular
responsibility or task. You may leave a question in the end as, “Tell me
what/how can I do it?” or “I need more time to complete this, will that be okay?”
Avoid indulging in arguments to prove your point as such habits may worsen your
problems.
Set a Boundary Around You
It’s
always wise to draw a line around you that none can cross and demand undue
favors from you. Sometimes people find it a real struggle to say NO because
they haven’t tried to evaluate their bond with that person. If your
relationship is strong enough, both the sides will respect each others’
limitations and privacy parameters. When you set your limits and make people
aware of those limits, they won’t intrude into this zone and ask for
unreasonable expectations. Our uncompromising adherence to be liked and
admired by everyone often make us prey to this deadly habit of being willing
for everything. And this is the all-pervasive intrusion in one’s privacy
leading to spoiled relations, so never let anyone cross the boundary line which
you have drawn for yourself.
Saying
NO, sometimes teaches us to be selfish but being selfish is not a bad thing as
far as you are focusing on your goals and priorities. If you have a habit of
prioritizing others' needs and expectations over your own; you will fall into procrastination and will end up in
frustration. It will be deterrent to your productivity and feelings of
dissatisfaction will start mounting. Many people use the tactics of manipulation to
overload others and get relieved from their own responsibilities. Think before
you say yes to help someone; analyze whether the solicitation is a genuine need
or a tactful one.
The
purpose of your Life isn’t to become a people pleaser neither to be a clown who makes
everyone happy and laugh. Never be tempted to say yes with this feeling that
people may start hating you if you say NO to them. Because when things are not
in your control and you commit for something, you start developing awful
feelings and resentment for yourself which snatches away your peace of mind. Be
confident that your NO will not damage any of your Relationship rather it will
develop a realistic perspective in all your connections. Be firm in your Decisions, draw the boundaries and
learn to say NO comfortably.
Always
remember when decisions are taken in haste, requests are granted in a jiffy we
are often forced to repent at leisure, so pause for a while, check your
priorities and finally decide on a YES. And then no regrets!!!
