Obstacle Can Never Be A Barrier Until You Make it One

Obstacles Are Not Barriers in Your Life

An obstacle can never be a barrier until you make it one, and the struggles, efforts and achievements in the life story of Bhavya Jain proved the same.

Bhavya Jain, 36,  son of an advocate, was a bright student throughout his school years and wanted to become a Judge. To fulfill his ambitions he chose to pursue law. He was self motivated and determined in his pursuit but suddenly things start falling apart when he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mental health condition causing mood swings. He was only 25 then, and his life took an unexpected turn which was extremely agonizing for him and his family. Today, talking about mental health is not a taboo but during those days, in the year 2010 it wasn’t as easy as it seems today. Bhavya’s battle with his mental health and the pressure of his dreams left him swinging between hope and despair. He decided not to quit, not to surrender to the obstacles and passed his LLM as one among the toppers. He continued his hard work and efforts to finally clear the Delhi Judicial Service Examination after eight years, in the category of persons with disabilities. Yet, the challenges weren’t at cessation, he was declared unfit to discharge his duties by the high court administration. And it took him three more grueling years to fight and win the legal battle when the Supreme Court allowed him to join his service.

This inspiring and heart touching story of Bhavya Jain narrates more than what it comprises. The terrible years that he passed while grappling with his health issues and his aspirations weren't easy and none of us can imagine what he must have gone through in accomplishing what he had yearned for. But ultimately when he won everything, it was clear that obstacles can have a fleeting impact but aren't insurmountable. They teach you that there’s nothing wrong in feeling low when you are passing through hard times and feel incapacitated to see so many obstacles blocking your way. We may encounter health issues, financial and relationship problems, but most often these obstacles arise from our mind and during such difficult times, all we need is a shift in our thinking; the thinking that reinvigorates our strength and efforts to prove that obstacle can never be a barrier until you make it one.

 

Obstacles Are Opportunities in Disguise

An obstacle is always an opportunity in disguise, if you grab and succeed it’s an achievement if you fail it turns out to be a learning lesson. So both the ways obstacles play a very important role in our life, the fear of failure ensures only one thing and that is failure itself, so keep moving forward despite the challenges and obstructions on your way. Develop a conviction that whatever you dream, is achievable and learn to think about what you can do instead of what you cannot. Neither we can control the obstacles nor the circumstances; we can only control our attitude towards them. If you treat obstacles as opportunities to prove your potential, you will emerge as a winner so have an unshakable faith in your hard work and efforts.

Maintain Your Emotional Equilibrium

Obstacles harm our emotional health and expose our weaker and vulnerable side to the world. Our actions and decisions both get badly affected causing a smaller hurdle turn into a bigger one and we end up in misery. It’s very important to maintain your equipoise because a strong Emotional Immunity provides you the best and creative solution to all your problems. Lack of morale and composure can overpower determination and one may gravitate to one’s own fall. Be resilient to face these hurdles and make yourself a warrior, not a worrier because your worries will not change your destiny but the warrior in you can certainly do it.

Audit Your Capabilities

Knowing yourself is very important to overcome any challenge and tunnel through the obstacles. Your self-assessment can be of great help when you deal with hardships in life. Talk to yourself and analyze your strengths, weaknesses and areas for development, it will prepare you to battle hard and attain facile victory even in the worst situations. When you don’t audit your capabilities and make resolutions they peter out soon because you don’t have good propensity to come out of your Comfort Zone and breaking your own boundaries so if you wish to be prepared for challenges, audit yourself and know your abilities.

Stop Complaining Start Appreciating

Learning the art of appreciating every small thing in life empowers us to not get influenced by the vagaries of mind and emotion during hard times and galvanizes our senses to face the wrath of obstacles in our day to day life. Appreciating the good around you and being grateful to the little things in your life channelize your attention to what nurtures and sustains you in life, it makes you understand one thing very clearly no good or bad can be controlled by you but you distinguish that good is to be appreciated while the obstacles need to be dealt with an iron fist. It instills a positive mindset that eventually bolsters your morale and refrain you from having a jaundiced view of life which usually happens when frequently confronted with obstacles and hardships in life.

Smaller or bigger, obstacles are the inevitable reality of everyone’s life; we all have them, face them and rise above them. These unparalleled challenges do not determine our life; our own interpretation about them, does. You cannot always get what you like so learn to like whatever you get. The obstacles are the best teachers in your life, they teach you your real worth and train you to endure and handle your life with Perfection while passing through the fire of tough times. Obstacles fall your way to enrich your life with experiences and achievements; remember the words of Helen Keller, “Life is either a great adventure or nothing”, Helen who, despite being blind and deaf, wrote her life story with golden words while fighting and conquering the infinite challenges on her way. 

You can only hold your Happiness and persevere, you can’t change the circumstances, you need to wade through them so the moment you consider them as barriers they start consuming you and if you resolve to be resilient against them you overcome them. 

Decision-Making: One of the Most Important 21st Century Skills

 Why the Ability of Decision Making is very Important in Life

Every day our life's platter serves us myriads of confusions and dilemma and every moment of our day we are rattling our brains to make some or the other decision. Our decisions can be related to simple daily choices or for Long Term plans to give a new definition to our life. These decisions can vary from petty issues like what to wear or what to have in lunch, to the bigger events like what course to pursue, which career to choose or whom to marry. Some people take quick decision and some take a long to research, mull over and finalize something in their life. Some even approach their friends and family to seek advice before taking a decision. Many resort to decision making by choosing a slip or tossing a coin and sometimes praying God for a cue to decide on something. We all are different in our decision-making ability but let's never forget the fact that everyone is born with unlimited potential and the ability to unleash that potential, to make a plus from a minus and the skill to draw a bigger line can only be cultivated when we are strong enough to make good decisions in our life.

A Good Decision Can Change Your Whole Life

Before we move on to the nitty-gritty of this complex yet one of the most important 21^st century skills let’s get to read an inspiring story about how decision making can transform a life.

Gulfam Ahmad, stricken by polio at birth, made a decision for himself that he would not depend on others due to his disability. It was a dismal beginning of the life of a family’s fifth child and their hope to find a cure for the ailment of their son brought the family to Delhi from a small village, Bijnor in UP. Gradually they accepted the fact that Gulfam would remain unable to walk for the rest of his life. But Gulfam’s choices and decisions were different for his life- the sight of a broken gate of school compelled him to venture into the building and watch the students over there. One day the school principal spotted him and readily agreed to admit him. It was an auspicious beginning for a boy of 8 but so many obstacles were yet to be tunneled through. At the age of 16, he made one more decision; the decision to join a gym and transform his body just like his favorite Bollywood star, Salman Khan. There he got a chance to meet a powerlifting coach and was introduced to the world of sports for people with disabilities. Here again, he decided to rewrite his destiny and since then the journey became a never ending process, he participated in many national events like wheelchair racing, power lifting, Taekwondo and organized scooter-rides for the differently-abled people.

In 2013, Gulfam made one more decision, to undergo a surgery so as to end his life’s years of crawling. He lived the glorious moment of his life when he won the title of Mr. Wheelchair India 2015, became a superstar and inspiration for many. He is a model, athlete, motivational speaker and a true fighter whose decision making power made him a real hero, whose decisions gave him the power to persevere despite overwhelming hurdles.

What is Decision Making

Decision making is one of the most important 21^st century skills which shows your expertise in choosing the best out of two or more alternatives. It’s a complex process of analyzing the information and options and set priorities for you. You have to navigate the risks and uncertainties before anticipating positive outcomes and consequences.

Why Decision Making is Important

How a good decision changes a precious human life, we have already read; decision-making inculcates reasoning, it trains you how to reason with the present and plan your future, stay aligned with your instincts and remain committed to your goal. The ability of decision making go in coordination with emotional intelligence, it motivates you to be critically aware of your emotions and stay rationale with them. Your emotions serve as perfect foundation for this process and when amalgamated with logical thinking, they result into the best solution.

Be a Good Decision Maker

Everyone can become a good decision maker by improving upon a few things. You need to identify the situation, before you jump into the process of decision-making. If the situation is a prolonged one or recur time and again, you need to be firm and a little harsh to become decisive on the matter. In case you have more options, make a list of all potential solutions and their plan of action. Critically examine the merits and demerits of each option, if your life depends on that decision; just think of the worst outcome also. When you are ready with your analysis, speculate if it matches with your goals and interests and at last Trust Your Instincts to get the best decision. Always reflect back on the entire process before you pick the best one for yourself.

Never hesitate in approaching your trusted friends and sensible people who you can trust for anything, they will reduce the amount of this tedious task for you and choose the best for you. Decision-making ability is an ornament for leaders, it adorns them with creativity and creativity brings innovation.

Your goals and achievements all hinge upon your ability to take right decisions at right time and your success is the fruit that ripens and sweetens during the process of decision-making.

Fear of Failure Impedes the Fulfillment of Your Dreams

 

How to Overcome the Fear of Failure

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

-Les Brown

This short line holds a very deep meaning and reveals most of the people’s life stories. Yes, most often people don’t live their dreams because they can’t stop living their fear which is a major road block in the way to success. Fear of failure impedes the fulfillment of your dreams; it snatches your freedom of making choices in your life and sneaks into your life to paralyze your determination. Let’s read a short story to get a deeper understanding of it.

Once a criminal was arrested and produced before the king for the judicial proceedings. After hearing the whole case, the king offered him two choices of his punishment. The first choice was to be hanged till death and the second was to enter through a dark, scary, horrifying mysterious door. The criminal chose to die by hanging. When the scaffold was set and the criminal was brought near the noose, he was asked for his last wish. He turned to the king and asked, “I just want to know what’s there behind that dark, scary door.” The king laughed and replied, “I offer everyone the same choice and it’s surprising that everyone chooses the noose.” The criminal was now more curious to know what was behind the door and to this the king replied, “Freedom, but to my dismay the fear of unknown failure is more fearsome than death so nobody wants to go through the door, they do not try to overcome this fear and choose the noose.”

We all have fear, we feel fear, and it’s an emotion, a process of experiencing something, as simple as any other vital process of our life. The most dangerous of all fears is the fear of failure because it prevents you from doing something challenging. When fear of failure overpowers us we start avoiding struggle, become complacent and don’t like to come out of our Comfort Zone. Let’s read how to fortify your attitude to fight this fear and live your dreams.

Identify Your Fears

Fears are always baseless, irrational and illogical as they always stem from the imagination of ‘what if’ or ‘what might be’. Sometimes fear is aroused by a petty thought like; what others will think of me. Does it really matter, what others think about you? Come out of this fear as it doesn’t matter What People Think about you. It’s your life and you have to steer it the way you want to just focus on how to push your boundaries. Embrace your mistakes with a sense of pride do whatever frightens you.  If public speaking, stage performance or any other activity that arouses fear in you, try to engage yourself more and more as that’s the only way to overcome your fear. It’s very important to identify your fears, know them and challenge them that you are no more influenced by them. Be mindful of your plan of action and perform it without judging, criticizing or berating it.

Stop Overthinking about Future

Overthinking instills fear and inhibitions, when you overthink, you start worrying about the future that may or may not happen and often waste a lot of energy and time which could be better utilized in planning and preparation of an important task. Overthinking gives birth to fear and apprehensions and triggers a barrage of questions which you can’t answer. Overthinkers become like a leaking tap that can’t be turned off, one bad thought leading to another and the series continues till the whole situation turns into a real Conundrum. Feeling anxious about your future or thinking about it will do no good, except a bad mental health and fatigue. Shift your thought process from tiring yourself to finding solutions and pull yourself from the loop of overthinking. Focus on your present because future starts now, not tomorrow.

Circumstances are not Stumbling-Stones

Many believe that if circumstances favor them they can achieve their goal. On the contrary, it is not the circumstances that make you a winner or a loser, but your fearlessness that determines your destiny. You need to see these circumstances through the prism of wisdom and awareness so as to Transform Adversities into Opportunities.  Let’s never get shaken by the unwelcomed events and circumstances in your life, they hold their own importance; they occur to teach you the best lessons of your life and how to keep moving despite the turbulence. Just ponder upon the quote by Samuel Smiles: “It is not ease but effort, not facility but difficulty that makes men. There is, perhaps no station in life in which difficulties have not be encountered and overcome before any decided measure of success can be achieved. Those difficulties are, however, our best instructors, as our mistakes often form our best experiences.”

Give Your Best and Accept the Result

Let us resolve to quell the challenges on our way and be unshakable within. When you put in your hundred percent and do all the necessary preparation, you feel confident and this confidence is very important to kill the fear of failure. Focus on the task, not on the results because thinking about the results always makes us dubious of our abilities and takes a toll on our confidence. Comparison peters out your zeal and motivation, seeing somebody outperforming exacerbates your fear and anxiety so never let your confidence plummet by comparing yourself with others. Learn to compare you with your previous version, it will boost your morale and galvanize your efforts. Be true to yourself, give your best and accept the result.

 

 

The greatest treasure of human life is its fearlessness; fearlessness helps us venturing into the unknown and heralds the advent of fame, fortune and accomplishments. That is why until we liberate ourselves from the clutches of fear we won’t be able to live our life at its fullest. Know your potential and overcome your inhibitions. Have fruitful conversations with positive and erudite people. Strength and support of your family always stands out as beacons of hope and can shoo away any fear from your mind, spend time with the people you feel happy and positive with, it will help you develop a never say die attitude towards the dreams and goals of your life. Be proud of your impeccable capabilities and be aware of your weakness that will definitely turn the trajectory of your life and make you the Game-changer.

Welcome A New Year of Hope, Aspirations And New Skills

2022: A Year of Hope

The year 2021 has been a year of grief, loss, unpredictability and emotional turmoil, yet I would like to place hope above all the crushing realities of this annus horribilis. Amid the sense of disruption and misery, there’s a joy of triumph also associated with this year. India, when became the biggest vaccine manufacturer in the world and achieved the target of hundred crore vaccination in the year 2021, we knew we could bounce back even after the greatest fall. Our country’s 100 years’ wait for a Gold in Olympics got over when Neeraj Chopra threw his javelin to rewrite the history of Indian sports and to add more glory to our glorious nation. Every Indian felt elated when Harnaaz Kaur Sandhu, a girl of small town with bigger dreams and aspirations, was crowned Miss Universe amidst thundering applause.

The year 2021 witnessed radical changes in many sectors- education, wellness, sustainability, technology, women entrepreneurship, healthcare, sports, and business but the education system embraced the changes and challenges unfolded by the new normal at a greater speed. The entire education fraternity across the world was so agile in adapting the new normal mode of education. Now, everyone knows that without the set of new skills that includes resilience, Grit, Determination, adaptability and self-reliance, none would be able to sustain in this world for a longer term. The disruption caused by the global pandemic would definitely come to a cessation but at what cost we weren’t aware of so we kept moving ahead with learning, unlearning and re-learning. The morale of many professionals has ebbed due to the havoc caused by the pandemic yet the fighting spirit and urge for sustenance introduced a crescendo in many organizations and a paradigm shift in almost all spheres of life.

The Skills that Redefine Your Course of Life

The seclusion and WFH culture over the past two years have accentuated the importance and need of soft skills; now for professionals, it’s not just the degrees or talent that works but many more aspects of personality hold equal value in one’s professional and personal growth. We all have grappled a lot to accommodate ourselves in this new normal life, and we succeeded also but for a smoother ride on our career path and to catapult our growth graph we have yet to master many skills like; leadership, teamwork, collaboration, compassion, coordination, communication, innovation, empathy and the list is endless. Apart from all these there’s one more issue that needs a deeper understanding; having a wider humanistic perspective which teaches us to look at the positive aspects of everyone and to imbibe the virtue of magnanimity, forgiveness, and reconciliation.

 

Empathy and Inclusiveness

In today’s fast-paced society, everyone has become so self-centered that it feels really difficult to empathize with the people around us especially in the backdrop of Covid pandemic. Recently I chanced upon a quote which intrigued me and that goes as, “I am a person through other people. My humanity is tied to yours.” This quote explains the essence of being a human and how empathy and inclusiveness are two important aspects of any individual. We all are one and interconnected and whatever we do, we think, affects the surrounding, as the butterfly effect propounds, ‘one can’t remove a sand particle from its position without changing the other parts of the immeasurable whole’, which is absolutely relevant for the whole of mankind. The feeling of inclusiveness focuses on creating an environment where everyone is important despite their differences, it ensures that people with diversity can walk together, work harmoniously, contribute confidently, yield better results and add value to the system.

 

Interesting Read: How-To-Become-A-Learner

Let Others Feel Special

In this competitive and well connected era, everyone feels ignored, dejected and alone because social media has made people less social. Just think for a moment, do we actually listen to what others are saying? No, we just wait for our turn to speak, to reply because we are just hearing; when someone is talking, we are engaged with our mobile phones, we only keep it aside when we get a chance to speak. How awkward the situation is! A conversation is a two way process and listening is the most ignored aspect of this process. Avoid using mobile phones when you are sitting with people, lend them your ears so that you can reach to their inner self, understand what they are going through and communicate more effectively. Make them feel special that you are always there when they need your support. Make them feel heard because everyone is battling with some or the other issues of their life and the feeling of being ‘unheard’ can be devastating with the mental health of your near and dear ones. Listening to others makes you more empathetic and aware of their problems; and if you are a team leader you must try to bridge the communication gap with your team to make them more efficient, productive and loyal.

Appreciate Others and be Admired

Appreciation works as a booster dose for everyone’s mental and emotional well-being. It’s the best therapy that you can give to anyone at zero cost. Lack of recognition and appreciation hinders productivity and creativity. Learn to appreciate your colleagues, your family members, your friends and your teammates whenever they do something worth mentioning. Never wait for a big moment to clap for your people; it takes just a small moment to make someone valued and to instill more loyalty. Showing appreciation for others brings a sense of fulfillment and admiration to you as well so never be stingy in doing that, appreciate others and be admired.

Cultivate Optimism

Optimism makes you hope for the positive outcomes, it makes you have faith in yourself and your efforts; as quoted by Winston Churchill, “A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity while an optimist finds an opportunity in every difficulty.” Optimistic people interpret the ordinary events of life in an extraordinary way and that keeps them always happy and cheerful. With this tendency, they become resilient to stress, are better equipped to embrace the unexpected and accomplish whatever they undertake.

Let’s fuel 2022 with hope, aspirations and new skills to chase our dreams, to expand the arena of our existence and be empowered enough to bring a change in our as well as others’ life. Let 2022 be the year when you give wings to your choices and dreams, when you attain all your resolutions and be the best of yourself.

 

This year, take out more time for your SELF, and your loved ones; life is unpredictable, make it a roller coaster ride, have fun in whatever you do, explore and reform your yourself. In the words of Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the days you were born and the day you find out why.”

Would you like to find out in the upcoming year- which is the second most important day of your life!